Namjoon can't even

[monie]

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[monie]

"I have an emergency. Code Maroon."

Namjoon hissed to Yoongi, appearing suddenly by his desk, weirdly hunched and then dropping into a crouch, essentially pressing himself up right against it like a very needy dog. The people sitting near Yoongi were turning their heads to look at them. Class was almost over, the tutorial had been finished and there was Namjoon, squirming.

"Do you remember your codes? This is exactly why I told you to make a laminated copy for your school binde-- you don't even have a school binder." Namjoon observed as he eyed up his desk with dismay. "How do you even organise your study notes?"

[bluemold]

Yoongi turned his head, but didn't lift it from his arms, folded on the desk. "I don't have study notes."

There, that should explain that. He looked up at Namjoon, frowning in slightly concerned confusion. Code Maroon? No, he hadn't remembered all those names. He hadn't even known that there were that many names for colours. And he really didn't need to make a laminated copy, for any number of reasons, most of all because he figured Namjoon would just tell him what was up.

"What's up?," he prompted therefore.

[monie]

"While the teacher was explaining the school rules again, she asked if anyone understood the school code and I raised my hand to show I did--" It was a rhetorical question, it really hadn't needed an answer. "And as I did, I knocked over my bottle of water and it's gone all down my pants." And it definitely looked like he'd pissed his pants. Which he did not do!

Despite popular rumour. An unfortunate accident when he was ten had dogged him his entire school career. It didn't help that it had happened in front of Cheon. He was sick at the time! The cruelty of some.

"How do I solve this? Hyung. Everyone is going to think I wet myself... I don't!" He hissed as he looked around and then pressed himself even closer to the desk, making it look far more strange that if he'd just casually tried to dry his damp crotch.

[bluemold]

"...now you look like you're humping the desk." Which he was pretty sure was not an improvement. Although, to be fair, he didn't know how he could improve that situation, knowing well how Namjoon had been haunted by this. He sat up straight and tried to think about the dilemma, aware that some people were already looking at them and really wanting to spare his friend further embarrassment.

Finally he shrugged out of his uniform jacket, offering it to Namjoon. "Just put it on your lap when you sit and hold it in front of you when you walk. Over one arm, casual."

[monie]

"Ah. Smart! It won't look obvious, will it? I don't want it to be too obvious that I spilled my drink." He anxiously darted his eyes around the room before not at all casuall doing as Yoongi said, just making it to his feet and almost to freedom when he heard Kangwoo. Urgh, Baek Kangwoo. The worst.

"Why is your chair soaked? Fuck, it's dripping." Kangwoo laughed and kicked Namjoon's chair. He suffered this fate, his chair was behind Kangwoo's foot... cause his desk was there. "What did you do? Have another accident."

"I was sick." Namjoon huffed. "And no, I didn't. There's a leak above my desk because no one will listen to the health and safety report I completed about the schools water system. I once saw lime come straight out of the tap. Water shouldn't be cloudy." So there. He turned and looked at Yoongi, jerking his head towards the door. "If you'll excuse us, we have places to be."

"Gonna go suck each other's dicks?"

Years later...

[bluemold]

"Another weirdo who claims to have seen stuff. Just question him, see if there is anything to it."

Yoongi's colleague handed him the file and Yoongi just nodded. He didn't feel much like talking. The coffee machine had broken and he really, really wanted some coffee. Also a few extra hours in bed. But here he was instead, sitting down opposite of the man he was supposed to question, already looking at the file in his hands.

"All right, Mr Kim." That was all he knew, last name Kim. Nothing surprising there. "You have witnessed suspicious behaviour across the street from you?" They really were clasping at straws here, but whatever. Yoongi reached for the pen behind his ear and opened it, ready to start taking notes. There, he was serious about this. Seriously tired.

[monie]

"Finally, I've been waiting here for an hour. An hour! I have important information, like I said, it was about 12.03 at night, I made a note of it in my notebook, 12.03am and I saw people congregating. Now I live in a bad neighbourhood, I'll admit it, there aren't the best people around so I try to keep notes and--" Namjoon looked up from his little notepad and frowned as he took in the guy across from him.

Was that... no, it wasn't. It wasn't him because if it was him then everything was terrible and wrong. He didn't even know what to do now.

So he just openly stared. Very reassuring.

[bluemold]

"There is always a lot of work to do, Mr Kim, sorry that's inconveniencing you." Waiting an hour? Yoongi had had longer waiting times at the dentist's. But people liked to complain, especially people like this, who did their own neighbourhood watch. He suppressed a sigh and actually noted down the time, hoping he'd hear something worthwhile.

But then the guy just stopped talking, so Yoongi finally looked up, raising his eyebrows. "And-?"

And then he realised and he blinked. What? "...Joon-ah?"

[monie]

"Yoongi-hyung." Well. This was awkward. He didn't know what to do now. He cleared his throat and then bowed because he was supposed to do that. It was only polite. "It's been a while. I see you moved back. Good. The house prices in Seoul are less intimidating now." There. Small talk achieved.

Swallowing hard, Namjoon looked down at his bad, totally losing his place. Oh God, oh God. This was like his nightmare.

"... You know what? They probably weren't deal drugs. Never mind." Namjoon got up very swiftly.

[monie]

EMERGENCY

EVERYTHING IS WRONG

I RAN INTO YOONGI.

[cuminjun]

oh no

is he okay? did you hurt him?

[monie]

No, why would I hurt him?

He's fine. He's a police officer now.

[cuminjun]

...really?

seems like only yesterday that he was a kitten

[cuminjun]

When Minjun walked in, he was in full costume. Which meant that he was wearing a very sharp suit that was just black. No spray paint. No rips. Just a sleek cut suit, with a white shirt and an actual tie.

Sure, he had literally had to buy all of this on the way here, but hey. Here he was, all tattoos covered up. Well. All right, some peeked out at his neck and wrist, but at first glance, he was looking all respectable. Even his hair was styled to look normal-ish. Just a bit of gel. Still bleached blond, but whatever. He could do this, for his brother. He approached the nearest guy he could see that looked like he might know what was going on, bowing politely.

"I'm Kim Minjun. I'm here on behalf of my client, Kim Namjoon?"

[tophead]

Gyungho looked up and raised an eyebrow. This dude had blond hair... already red flags everywhere. He wondered who hired a lawyer like this but then, he remembered this was Namjoon. Crossing his arms, Gyungho studied the guy for a few moments before nodding and showing him the book for guests. "Sign here, leave your name and contact number."

He got up and walked over to the walkie-talkie, hitting up Yoongi. "Hey, Yoongi-ssi, the lawyer is here."

Taking his finger off the button, he looked at Minjun. "Which office are you from?"

[cuminjun]

"...Kim, Kim & Kim." Minjun had only missed a beat, his answer came quickly enough and, hey. He thought the name was catchy. "I'm the second Kim." Just in case hot cop guy was curious. Minjun signed, his gaze wandering back to Gyungho, because he had seen him and, yeah, now he was seeing some more from the back. What a very welcome view.

He smiled and closed the pen, standing up properly again. "So... Where you present for the arrest?"

He just wanted an excuse to talk to him longer.

"Bring him through," came Yoongi's response.

[tophead]

"I was present, Kim-ssi." Kim and Kim? He was... having his doubts. He eyed the guy up and then gestured for him to follow him along, unsure what to do about this. He was going to ask for his card but, honestly, he kind of wanted to see where this thing was going. "Well, let's find your client, shall we? Come on."

He led Minjun into the hallway and down to the interrogation room.

"How long have you been Kim Namjoon's lawyer?"

[monie]

After all the shit he got for not calling the police, this time... he definitely called the police.

Last night someone broke into his apartment while he was out with Minjun getting some beers. He staggered home, fell asleep and woke up the next day before realising. He just didn't think to check but yeah, there was glass all over his floor, the offending rock that broke his window was there and the laptop was gone.

So Namjoon waited by the door, anxious and uneasy, hoping against hope that Yoongi wasn't the cop coming to handle this.

[bluemold]

Unfortunately for them both, there had been no choice. Yoongi was here, walking into the apartment and... well, stepping into the apartment carefully, because there was stuff everywhere. "Wow. Someone really vandalised your place, huh?"

He looked around, baffled. "Did they also bring a ton of crap?" It was kind of what it looked like. No wonder Namjoon looked so anxious, that was unsettling. "All right. Walk me through it please, Namjoon-ssi."

He was still looking around himself. "There's a lot to take in."

[monie]

"This looks the same as last time." Gyungho whispered because... this was not trashed from a burglar. Though the smashed window was new.

Namjoon gulped hard, wishing he was less nervous around Yoongi but he wasn't. And now he was calling him ssi instead of ah. So the affection really had gone. Well. Okay. Expected but okay. He moved forward to where the rock was. "They smashed my window and they stole from me."

"How can you tell?" Gyungho asked as he looked at a stack of phone books. Who even had phone books any more?

"Because it's my laptop." And it was hard to miss. "I use it for work." And without it, he was kind of screwed. He had no idea what to do.

[bluemold]

"I didn't know you could use a computer." Yoongi muttered it, just still looking around. So this was all just how Namjoon lived? Oh boy. He resisted the urge to clean up and moved closer to the broken window instead, taking a picture. "Where was the laptop, last you saw it?"

Maybe it had just had a phone book fall on it. Apparently that was a very real hazard in this place. "...where's your cat?" How did he keep track of that or anything in this chaos?"

to Namjoon

[cuminjun]

yoooooooooo

i know you were a bit drunk yesterday, got home okay?

[monie]

Someone broke into my apartment, stole my laptop and I had to call the police.

Now I'm staying with Yoongi in his apartment.

[cuminjun]

wait

when did your cat get an apartment

[monie]

Not the cat, the police man!

A kitty can't own an apartment. That's silly!