"I really don't like me. I would like to not have to hang out with me. I get why I don't really have friends." Sometimes he wished he could get that distance. He laughed nervously and fiddled with his pant leg, trying not to get worked up. "I'm sorry that I gave you a hard time. I guess it was just gay panic and -- change. I'm bad at change. And I wasn't totally sure how I felt."
He supposed he made it a bigger deal than it had to be. "Sorry I made you party, drink alcohol and date a lot of people." Tragic, truly tragic. "Must have been awful."
"It really was!" Yoongi exclaimed it, because at that moment he felt as if Namjoon was the only person in the world who would understand that he actually meant that. He turned onto his road, slowing down a little as they neared his place. There was a car park in front of the building, so at least he knew they wouldn't have far to do. "I think you make a great friend. So I'd love it if we were friends again."
"Okay, hyung. I'll try to be a better friend this time." Namjoon smiled at Yoongi, unsure but trying. "I'll be a good roommate too. I can cook for you." A horrible idea. "Or make you some coffee." A slightly better idea. "I want to not be in the way so just let me do things too. I could wash up or do the laundry." All horrible ideas but he was eager and so very excited to try and make up to him. "I'll be the best friend ever."
"...how about you just, I don't know. Fix up my computer?" Because he remembered watching Namjoon cook and nothing in his story made him feel inclined to believe that he had at all improved in the matter. Yoongi smiled at him and opened the door. "Tonight I will cook for you. And you can help your cat get used to the new place and sort out your books."
All the many he had apparently had felt a need to bring. "What do you want to eat? What's your favourite?"
"Erm, it's your kitchen so you can cook for me. Whatever you wish. I just don't eat seafood. I do like knife noodles though." Just putting that out there. He got out of the car, grabbing his too heavy bag and his cat, struggling along after Yoongi and nearly tripping over his dumb trenchcoat.
"What do you like to eat, hyung?" He supposed Yoongi had always eaten what he wanted and he was just curious if that changed at all.
"I eat whatever. I still know how to make knife noodles better than anyone outside my parents' shop though." So he had already made up his mind. Yoongi was glad that there was a lift, because it seemed like Namjoon might not have made it up the stairs. Between how heavy his bags were and his coat? Not a chance.
"I really do just eat whatever, honestly." He pressed the button for his floor and checked in on the cat, making sure he was doing fine. Seemed so. "I like food, but I'll eat anything. You've always been picky."
"Not picky. I just know what I like. These days, I eat a lot of chicken cause Yoongi likes it. Kitten Yoongi. Not you. Obviously. We like to split food and luckily, he hated tuna." Yeah, he was a weird cat person. It had officially happened. Was anyone really shocked cause his eomma certainly wasn't. Everyone kind of expected it. He supposed he was just lonely at the time and didn't feel like a dog level commitment.
"Do you still like music?" He remembered once that they planned to release a mix tape together. That never happened. One kiss at a party and all their dreams ended. "I still write."
Yoongi walked out of the lift and led the way down the hall. He listened to Namjoon and then nodded, while he sat the cat down so he could unlock the apartment. "I have a keyboard. I play most days and I compose sometimes. I was going to do songwriting, something like that, but I just couldn't."
It felt too raw. Too close to all these emotions he could never get closure on. That said he opened the door and stepped in, turning around to smirk at Namjoon. "Breathe in deeply. The smell of an apartment without any mould."
"My apartment smells fine. Yours is weird. It's all flowery. Flowers go outside." It was like lavender and very pleasant. He hated that. He dropped his bag at the door, slipped off his shoes and walked into the apartment, just looking around and checking out Yoongi's minimalist decor. "It's very you here. Lots of -- black."
And white. Of course. "I like your couch." It looked cosy. He turned to Yoongi and smiled playfully. "It's too clean in here. It's like a hotel."
"Yeah, I just don't have that much stuff." If he was to be honest here. Yoongi set the cat carrier down and bent down next to it, so he could open the door. He left the cat be, however, taking his own shoes off and walking in. His place was largely open plan, the kitchen was connected to the living room, just a small counter separating them. He liked to cook while the television was running, so it was for the best.
"I'm sure it won't be clean long, now that you are here." That said he turned on the television, immediately going on Netflix. "I'm going to put something on while I cook and you make yourself at home, yeah? Hoping you learn a thing or two."
"Sure, whatever." Picking up Yoongi, he carried his kitty into the living room and sat on the couch, just petting him and letting him get adjusted, willing to watch whatever Yoongi was putting on. Ever interested and ever curious. The idiot that he was. He kissed the top of his cats head and then looked up at Yoongi.
"Introducing you to order? You are welcome." Yoongi couldn't help teasing him. He was kneading the dough already, since it would have to rest for at least half an hour. Gave him the time to prepare a tasty broth as well, so he was all for it. "You don't have to thank me, Joon-ah. Let's just... Let's forget anything awkward happened. We've been friends since childhood. Of course you can stay with me. Your place is a shithole in a terrible neighbourhood."
"I like it." Namjoon pointed out as he watched some program about a tiny Japanese lady organising people's homes. Pfft. Like he could ever do that. He had too much stuff and it was all going nowhere. He supposed he was just stubborn like that. "I have the best house. Swanky, it has two rooms. People would kill for those two rooms. One is my detective office slash wardrobe."
Cause it's where he threw all of his clothes. Those these days, he could never find clean clothes so he just got new ones and added them to the pile. "I hope I can still solve crimes."
"You could solve crimes. It wouldn't be that hard to officially become an asset, work with the police. There's some ways you could do it. Then you could just do it and actually be paid for it, for one thing. Especially with computer stuff we can use help." Seriously. Yoongi was just decent with computers, but most of his colleagues typed with one finger, letter by letter, and into a browser no one else used any more.
He put the dough into the refrigerator for now and then turned around to get started on the broth. Not that much to do, after that, just waiting and simmering.
"I can't be a cop or anything. I don't pass the ... evaluations." He tried to prep for it once and basically realised it was impossible. Hence why he went to computers instead. "I would like to work official but it seems less organic. I'll miss the gritty streets of Seoul, the buzz of traffic and the chaos of being on the beat."
Said the guy who got arrested with a plastic baggy of talc. Clearly Namjoon had a romantic idea about this. "I mean, I don't have my trench coat for nothing."
"It's dangerous, you know? I did good work in Daegu, but I got transferred partially because of that. More anonymity here." At least so far. But how could he ever keep Namjoon from being so romantic about it? "If you are a tech guy and all that, you could still come along sometimes. Especially when people know how valuable you can be. You were always the best at the point and click detective cases."
No psych evaluation needed for those. "Your trench coat looks cool, Joon-ah, but it's a bit like a costume, right?"
"No, it's cool. I love trench coats." Namjoon insisted with a bright smile. "It's like... my armour, I guess. People know who I am when I'm in it. And they respect me." They did not. He just assumed they would. "I've solved a lot of cases so I can help you. I promise. And I can do tech, I could use a different job cause security is boring. It's just mindless coding. I really love the thrill of a fresh new case."
And no, the romance would not die. "I bet you're an awesome cop, Yoongi."
"I don't know. I try. A lot of it is tedious. Especially when I hadn't made detective yet." It was definitely looking up now. Yoongi let the broth simmer and walked back over to Namjoon, sitting down next to him. "I'll see about a way to get you to be an official asset. As long as you aren't caught with drugs again. Buuuut only if you let me help you move somewhere else, yeah? I mean it. That place is dangerous, Joon-ah, for so many reasons."
He supposed he just liked to be there because he felt like he belonged there. He'd always been there. And he was not good at change. Not at all. He supposed he would have to move one day but he wasn't sure why it had to be today. "I'll just -- I'll think about it, like I said. We'll discuss it ... Friday? And see how it is." Maybe. Possibly.
"We will see how it is," Yoongi confirmed. And then he took the remote control and switched from Marie Kondo to A Korean Odyssey. Very different vibe, but hey. They'd always used to watch police procedure shows together and this had a bit of that, only plus a lot of other elements. He was feeling it.
He breathed in and enjoyed the smell of broth, leaning back on the sofa. "I just like spending time with you again. We have a lot to catch up on, together."
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He supposed he made it a bigger deal than it had to be. "Sorry I made you party, drink alcohol and date a lot of people." Tragic, truly tragic. "Must have been awful."
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All the many he had apparently had felt a need to bring. "What do you want to eat? What's your favourite?"
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"What do you like to eat, hyung?" He supposed Yoongi had always eaten what he wanted and he was just curious if that changed at all.
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"I really do just eat whatever, honestly." He pressed the button for his floor and checked in on the cat, making sure he was doing fine. Seemed so. "I like food, but I'll eat anything. You've always been picky."
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"Do you still like music?" He remembered once that they planned to release a mix tape together. That never happened. One kiss at a party and all their dreams ended. "I still write."
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It felt too raw. Too close to all these emotions he could never get closure on. That said he opened the door and stepped in, turning around to smirk at Namjoon. "Breathe in deeply. The smell of an apartment without any mould."
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And white. Of course. "I like your couch." It looked cosy. He turned to Yoongi and smiled playfully. "It's too clean in here. It's like a hotel."
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"I'm sure it won't be clean long, now that you are here." That said he turned on the television, immediately going on Netflix. "I'm going to put something on while I cook and you make yourself at home, yeah? Hoping you learn a thing or two."
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"Thank you for this. I mean it."
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Cause it's where he threw all of his clothes. Those these days, he could never find clean clothes so he just got new ones and added them to the pile. "I hope I can still solve crimes."
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He put the dough into the refrigerator for now and then turned around to get started on the broth. Not that much to do, after that, just waiting and simmering.
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Said the guy who got arrested with a plastic baggy of talc. Clearly Namjoon had a romantic idea about this. "I mean, I don't have my trench coat for nothing."
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No psych evaluation needed for those. "Your trench coat looks cool, Joon-ah, but it's a bit like a costume, right?"
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And no, the romance would not die. "I bet you're an awesome cop, Yoongi."
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He supposed he just liked to be there because he felt like he belonged there. He'd always been there. And he was not good at change. Not at all. He supposed he would have to move one day but he wasn't sure why it had to be today. "I'll just -- I'll think about it, like I said. We'll discuss it ... Friday? And see how it is." Maybe. Possibly.
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He breathed in and enjoyed the smell of broth, leaning back on the sofa. "I just like spending time with you again. We have a lot to catch up on, together."
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Namjoon smiled at Yoongi, his heart racing and feeling like he was fifteen all over again. Hopefully this time, he wouldn't fuck it up.