"Oh, ever since he first needed our services. That must be... Ten years now? Of course, that was before I made partner." Hey, he had a whole backstory worked out. Minjun was a shitty liar, but a good actor, so he viewed it as an acting exercise and hoped for the best. "I look younger than I am."
Well, he did. Also, he was like ten years younger than the character he had chosen to play, but whatever. "How about you, how long have you been working here?"
"How old are you?" What? Ten years? How was that possible. He worked it backwards and calculated in his head. "You've been Namjoon's lawyer since he was around 14? That certainly wasn't in his file." Okay, the suspicion with this guy kept getting higher but he kind of wanted to see what would happen when Namjoon saw him. Then he could work out the dynamic.
"I've worked here for five years now. I'm a detective and I don't like liars."
He gave Minjun a pointed look before smiling a little cause no, he didn't like liars but he was having fun. No doubts there.
"Yeah? I don't like bus drivers. Not all of them, just the ones that take a smoke break when I'm in a hurry, I hate them." Not really relevant to anything, but hey. Here he was, not lying. Minjun smiled winningly, not too distraught over being regarded with suspicion. He always was. And, in this case, he just needed to get away with it long enough to get Namjoon out of trouble. He had done that often enough.
"You see how good I am at keeping him out of trouble, with him not even being on file." That part was actually true. Namjoon had needed his help before. Never quite like this. "He's very law-abiding, he just... Sometimes he tries too hard."
"He was caught dealing drugs so not that law abiding." As he came into the room, he knocked first and looked in at Yoongi and Namjoon. There was... a lot of awkward tension in this room. Namjoon was looking anywhere but and Yoongi looked ready to be done here.
"Things going well, Yoon-ah?"
"Minjun-hyung!" Namjoon sat up a little, looking desperate and worried. "Tell them I'm undercover and I'm not a drug dealer!"
"He is not a drug dealer. He hates drugs." Minjun could confirm that. Namjoon freaked out over him smoking some weed, he wasn't about to go into the drug trade.
"He was apprehended with cocaine, that he was attempting to sell." Yoongi looked at the file to avoid looking at anyone else. This was so awkward. He knew that Namjoon had meant no harm, but possessing and selling drugs? Highly illegal.
"I'm sure he was just making an effort to--" Minjun looked at Namjoon. "--what were you trying?"
"To get the name of whoever keeps selling drugs outside my house. They were doing it last week at 2.30am and I know because someone threw a rock at my kitty." And that was what sparked this war. He didn't start it, he just wanted to end it.
"And you didn't report this to us?" Gyungho looked at Namjoon and crossed his arms. "Instead, you decided to deal drugs and bring in some random guy to pose as your lawyer." Gyungho shook his head and closed the door behind him, gesturing at Minjun. "No way is this guy a lawyer."
Namjoon gulped and then looked panicked, unsure what to do. "I can't go to jail. No one would feed my cat. I wasn't dealing drugs, I just had them on me so I could catch the bad people..."
"How did you get the drugs?" Yoongi felt that was a question worth exploring.
And Minjun felt slightly hurt in his honour as a fake lawyer, but he was still a big brother and so he stepped up to Namjoon, putting a hand on his shoulder. He could be there for him. "Kim Namjoon hasn't felt very well received at your station, he felt uncomfortable coming back here, so he wanted to take matters into his own hands."
Yoongi blinked, the case suddenly making sense. What even... "Joon-ah, you didn't report this because of me?"
Oh. Uh-oh. Minjun swallowed. "I didn't say that. My statement was very, very general."
Namjoon looked up at his brother, hurt and offended. "... Why? Why would you do that? You're the worst fake lawyer ever." God damn it. Now they all knew! What a loser. He looked down at the table and then shrugged. "It wasn't drugs, it was talcum powder and paracetamol. I kinda smushed it up. I promise it's not real. I just wanted to stop them without having to come here."
"... It's talc?" Gyungho pondered this before exhaling slowly and putting his head in his hand. "They're analysing it right now. If they say the same, you might be off the hook. Might. You still broke the law. Both of you did."
Namjoon lowered his head and squirmed. "I'm making my neighbourhood better."
"Who are you actually?" Yoongi looked Minjun over, frowning. "And do you not know anyone who would be a more believable fake lawyer? That barely even counts as false identity when it's so obvious."
"...I resent that remark," Minjun said, rubbing his shoulder where the wings of his angel tattoo were peeking out. All right, he could concede that he wasn't the most convincing lawyer, but he thought he looked great today. And he wanted to support his brother. "I'm his older brother."
Shaking his head, Yoongi looked at Namjoon. "Do you know how dangerous that was? What's your issue with me?" He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Damn it.
"I couldn't ask anyone else. He's my only friend."
Namjoon never had a lot and he really only had Minjun because they were related now. He didn't have him by natural social connections, he just got him from sheer luck. He only ever had Yoongi. Then he drove him away and now he was back, he sounded so pissed off and snappy. He didn't even know what to do. His mind was blanking on answers.
"Sorry." He bowed deep and then looked tentatively at his older brother. "Maybe tell eomma? I need a real lawyer..." He was kind of unsure what else to do now? He was too anxious to even look at Yoongi.
"You don't need a lawyer. If it's actually fake, you'll be fine. Slap on the wrist." Although Yoongi felt like he needed an actual slap. He turned so he could look away from the two brothers? Namjoon didn't have a brother. Had to be a step-brother. Whatever. Yoongi really wanted to leave, but they had to finish the interrogation. Which was difficult, when Namjoon wasn't saying much.
"He won't do it again," Minjun promised in his stead, looking down at Namjoon. "I'll kick your ass for that stunt later anyway."
"You are the one badly impersonating a lawyer."
"Well, your partner looks too hot to be a cop, be more open-minded."
"Oh. Thanks." Gyungho winked from behind and then reached out to gestured for the weird fake lawyer to come over. "Come on, law-boy, this is an interrogation and you're not allowed. We'll get you a coffee so you can wait for the results. If all goes well, this won't be jail time but it will be trouble."
Namjoon nodded and pulled his sleeves down a little to cover his hands. "Okay, gotcha."
Looking down, Gyungho tried to catch Yoongi's eye. "You should take a breather to so come on." If Yoongi got more worked up, it'd become a bit more dubious.
Yoongi nodded his head, agreeing with Gyungho. He headed out of the room first, hands in his pockets. Damn it, now Minjun couldn't check him for rings. Whatever, he could focus on the hot cop instead, smiling as he walked next to him.
"You know, this is still the best way I've ever met a cop." If he was being honest here. It wasn't as if Minjun had ever really broken the law in any serious way, but of course there was some drunken misconduct and a little bit of vandalism, skateboarding back in the day... Well, partying was fun and cops often disagreed with it.
"Somehow, I'm not even shocked. Bet you have a bigger file than him." He let Minjun out and then locked the door behind them, giving Namjoon some time to chill and think about what he was done. "Look, I know your brother is a bit... unique. He's been helpful in the past but this shit has gotta stop. I'll get him off on a caution this time if the drugs are fake but it's gotta stop."
No more Sherlocking around their offices, no more spying and undercover work. It can't last. "If he wants to be a cop, he should have gone to school and trained."
"The drugs are fake. Namjoon never lies. I don't think he can. Like an elf." Was that a weird reference? Probably. Whatever. "You know that he couldn't become a cop. Psych evaluation." It wasn't easy, being Namjoon. Minjun had tried to do career counselling, but obviously that hadn't helped much.
"He has a drive to fight for justice, but unless he gets bitten by a radioactive spider some time soon, I'm not sure what the best way for that is."
That said, Minjun smiled. "If you are interested in my file, you should look it up. I bet my phone number is in there too."
"You're hitting on me here and now, huh? Ballsy." He smirked a little and then shook his head, unsure what to even do. "You and your brother are quite a pair, lemme tell you." Without answering too much whether or not he would, he put an arm around Minjun and guided him to a seat. "Sit here and I'll get you coffee. Try not to cause me any trouble and we'll see what happens."
And with that, he headed off to the coffee - cause that's where Yoongi always was. And that was where he found him. "Rough day, huh?"
Yoongi held a cup of coffee with both hands, warming his fingers. They really needed better heating in that interrogation room. Or maybe it wasn't even that cold and it was just his nerves getting to him. He looked at Gyungho and shrugged. "I've had better days. You realise how lucky Namjoon is that we caught him? Imagine what they'd have done to anyone if they'd caught on that he was selling fake stuff to them."
But Namjoon probably didn't even realise that. Damn it. "I want to lock him up just to protect him from himself."
"Oh yeah, that's the real worry here. I'm concerned about him and his stupid methods. If he got caught by someone, he'd be ripped apart in seconds." The druggies in this town were like hyenas, they'd rip him apart. Namjoon had no idea what he was doing. "He's never gone this far before... he really must want to avoid seeing you." Man, whatever happened between them, it really was awkward. For both of them.
"He said they threw a rock at his cat. He's been narking on them for months now... they gotta know." They were probably pissed. "Wouldn't be shocked if they were harassing him."
"Yeah. So if they had gotten him this time instead of us, it would have been on me. Because I know how he works, of course he'd just avoid me. He blanked me out for a month and a half back in high school." Their last interaction. Or lack thereof. Yoongi took a deep breath now, looking at the ground. What could they do now? "Is there any way we could take him into protective custody? Or just... I don't know, find out where the supposed brother lives, maybe we can just force him to move there."
"We can't. We don't have the resources. I mean... we could condemn his apartment, it's a hazard." He had been in there, it was truly horrendous. "We have two choices - we go and prep his apartment, put some kind of emergency button in there maybe or we just sort of ... let him go with a warning and press upon his brother the importance of him moving."
That was all he could see having an impact. Little else. "There's little we can really do unless he actually has drugs. We'd have to let him go on a caution."
"Now I wish he had had drugs." Damn it. Yoongi felt like he couldn't breathe so well. This was the worst. "I used to look out for him, back in school. Back since always. Wasn't easy." And apparently Namjoon insisted on making it even harder. He shook his head and breathed out slowly. All right, they could figure this out. As best they could. "What about that brother. Do we charge him with anything? He's an impostor, technically."
"Nah, I mean we could but do you really want to do all the paperwork for that? It's not gonna make Namjoon any less dangerous and he wouldn't even get jail time. He'd probably get off with it." Cause he did it for family in a moment of panic - any good lawyer could argue their way out of that one. "Besides, it'd make Namjoon even more resistant to come to us if something bad happens."
So no, not a good idea. "Also he's hot and vibing on me hard."
"So tattooed he can't even cover it up with a full suit and bleached hair? You have dangerous tastes, hyung." Yoongi shook his head in mock disapproval, knowing he'd have to head back in there. Deal with Namjoon. He dreaded that. He had to find a way to get through to him. "How about I go vibe on the hot tattoo guy and you go deal with my awkward childhood friend?" That seemed way more fair.
"Deal. Just play nice, don't arrest him or lose your temper and don't threaten him. He could sue us." He was just saying. He gave Yoongi a slap on the back and headed off, running into the drugs guy on the way by. Pulling out his radio, he sent a quick message to Yoongi. "Drugs are false by the way."
Yoongi returned to the interrogation room, simply sitting down across from Namjoon and sighing. He looked at Namjoon and attempted a smile. "Don't worry. The drug analysis came back, we know you didn't have actual drugs. You aren't in any trouble and I guess your brother is hitting on my partner."
So that was happening. Weird? Whatever. He had already gotten used to Gyungho being a bit different than others. "Joon-ah. I'm worried about you. I don't know what you think I feel towards you, but mostly I'm just genuinely concerned for your safety. Do you understand why?"
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Well, he did. Also, he was like ten years younger than the character he had chosen to play, but whatever. "How about you, how long have you been working here?"
Instead of at bachelorette parties.
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"I've worked here for five years now. I'm a detective and I don't like liars."
He gave Minjun a pointed look before smiling a little cause no, he didn't like liars but he was having fun. No doubts there.
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"You see how good I am at keeping him out of trouble, with him not even being on file." That part was actually true. Namjoon had needed his help before. Never quite like this. "He's very law-abiding, he just... Sometimes he tries too hard."
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"Things going well, Yoon-ah?"
"Minjun-hyung!" Namjoon sat up a little, looking desperate and worried. "Tell them I'm undercover and I'm not a drug dealer!"
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"He was apprehended with cocaine, that he was attempting to sell." Yoongi looked at the file to avoid looking at anyone else. This was so awkward. He knew that Namjoon had meant no harm, but possessing and selling drugs? Highly illegal.
"I'm sure he was just making an effort to--" Minjun looked at Namjoon. "--what were you trying?"
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"And you didn't report this to us?" Gyungho looked at Namjoon and crossed his arms. "Instead, you decided to deal drugs and bring in some random guy to pose as your lawyer." Gyungho shook his head and closed the door behind him, gesturing at Minjun. "No way is this guy a lawyer."
Namjoon gulped and then looked panicked, unsure what to do. "I can't go to jail. No one would feed my cat. I wasn't dealing drugs, I just had them on me so I could catch the bad people..."
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And Minjun felt slightly hurt in his honour as a fake lawyer, but he was still a big brother and so he stepped up to Namjoon, putting a hand on his shoulder. He could be there for him. "Kim Namjoon hasn't felt very well received at your station, he felt uncomfortable coming back here, so he wanted to take matters into his own hands."
Yoongi blinked, the case suddenly making sense. What even... "Joon-ah, you didn't report this because of me?"
Oh. Uh-oh. Minjun swallowed. "I didn't say that. My statement was very, very general."
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"... It's talc?" Gyungho pondered this before exhaling slowly and putting his head in his hand. "They're analysing it right now. If they say the same, you might be off the hook. Might. You still broke the law. Both of you did."
Namjoon lowered his head and squirmed. "I'm making my neighbourhood better."
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"...I resent that remark," Minjun said, rubbing his shoulder where the wings of his angel tattoo were peeking out. All right, he could concede that he wasn't the most convincing lawyer, but he thought he looked great today. And he wanted to support his brother. "I'm his older brother."
Shaking his head, Yoongi looked at Namjoon. "Do you know how dangerous that was? What's your issue with me?" He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. Damn it.
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Namjoon never had a lot and he really only had Minjun because they were related now. He didn't have him by natural social connections, he just got him from sheer luck. He only ever had Yoongi. Then he drove him away and now he was back, he sounded so pissed off and snappy. He didn't even know what to do. His mind was blanking on answers.
"Sorry." He bowed deep and then looked tentatively at his older brother. "Maybe tell eomma? I need a real lawyer..." He was kind of unsure what else to do now? He was too anxious to even look at Yoongi.
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"He won't do it again," Minjun promised in his stead, looking down at Namjoon. "I'll kick your ass for that stunt later anyway."
"You are the one badly impersonating a lawyer."
"Well, your partner looks too hot to be a cop, be more open-minded."
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Namjoon nodded and pulled his sleeves down a little to cover his hands. "Okay, gotcha."
Looking down, Gyungho tried to catch Yoongi's eye. "You should take a breather to so come on." If Yoongi got more worked up, it'd become a bit more dubious.
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"You know, this is still the best way I've ever met a cop." If he was being honest here. It wasn't as if Minjun had ever really broken the law in any serious way, but of course there was some drunken misconduct and a little bit of vandalism, skateboarding back in the day... Well, partying was fun and cops often disagreed with it.
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No more Sherlocking around their offices, no more spying and undercover work. It can't last. "If he wants to be a cop, he should have gone to school and trained."
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"He has a drive to fight for justice, but unless he gets bitten by a radioactive spider some time soon, I'm not sure what the best way for that is."
That said, Minjun smiled. "If you are interested in my file, you should look it up. I bet my phone number is in there too."
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And with that, he headed off to the coffee - cause that's where Yoongi always was. And that was where he found him. "Rough day, huh?"
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But Namjoon probably didn't even realise that. Damn it. "I want to lock him up just to protect him from himself."
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"He said they threw a rock at his cat. He's been narking on them for months now... they gotta know." They were probably pissed. "Wouldn't be shocked if they were harassing him."
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That was all he could see having an impact. Little else. "There's little we can really do unless he actually has drugs. We'd have to let him go on a caution."
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So no, not a good idea. "Also he's hot and vibing on me hard."
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They were talc, paracetamol and kitty litter.
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So that was happening. Weird? Whatever. He had already gotten used to Gyungho being a bit different than others. "Joon-ah. I'm worried about you. I don't know what you think I feel towards you, but mostly I'm just genuinely concerned for your safety. Do you understand why?"
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