powerboys | You're my everything, please go away

Yoongi tried not to feel embarrassed over the way this guy looked at him. He knew he was trash, it was easier to deal with when he wasn't faced with a guy roughly his age looking at him like that. His chest felt tight and he wanted to be anywhere but here.

"The cops are going to be really nice, Jungkookie. And they have cool uniforms, right? It's going to be fun to meet them." Yoongi leaned down to try and set Jungkook down, gently attempting to pry to boy off of him. "Hyung has to leave, Jungkook."

His kind were definitely not welcome here, he knew that.

Jungkook promptly burst into a flood of tears, his little fingers clawing and clinging to Yoongi's pant leg as he sobbed and hung onto him. "Hyung! Yoongi-hyung! Please." Whatever else he said, it was hard to make out, kids didn't always make sense when sobbing like this. Namjoon frowned and looked up, squinting at Yoongi for a few before it hit him. Ah, that's why he looked so familiar.

"Min Yoongi?" Namjoon wasn't totally sure but it looked like him. He could see it now, he'd aged and lost some weight, looked paler and more neutral but that was definitely him. "No way."

With a smile, he gestured at himself. "Namjoon, I-- we went to the same school. We met once. Remember? I walked into your open locker door and accidentally sneezed blood on you." Not the best story but he was hoping it was pretty memorable. He crouched down, trying to stroke Jungkook's back and pry him away. "It's good to see you."

"...what's good about it?" Honestly. There was a crying child that wouldn't let go of him and he was this. Absolute trash, hopefully dead soon. Yoongi couldn't imagine he was a pleasure to meet right now, even if his Jungkookie seemed to vehemently disagree with that assessment.

Still, he nodded his head while he tried to move away from Jungkook to no avail. Damn it. "I remember."

Blood boy. Hard to forget.

"Cute boy. Hope your nose is all right."

"I don't know, it's nice to see you. I always liked seeing you. I remember staying around until six to watch you play piano in the talent show. Dude, you were ridic good." Namjoon explained as he tried to coax Jungkook from Yoongi but it wasn't working. "Hey, I know that Yoongi is a cool hyung but he has grown up stuff to do. It's okay, I'll take care of you."

The boy sobbed and clung harder. He lost eomma, he didn't want to lose his new hyung.

"So, uh, how about you hang out for a few so we can ease Jungkook from you? I think a sudden move is too much right now." Namjoon sat on the floor and stroked the boy's hair. "How about we all just sit down together and have some breakfast, hmm?" Jungkook whimpered and nodded against Yoongi's leg.

Yoongi lowered his head when Namjoon mentioned piano, seeing flames and smelling fire. He still had that burnt piano key in his pocket. Damn. Jungkook was a good thing to focus on, while he didn't want Namjoon to notice anything off about him. Well. Anything but the very obvious, anyway.

"Breakfast sounds good, huh, Jungkookie?" Yoongi gently coaxed Jungkook to take his hand. "We can go with Namjoon-hyung. He's a good hyung, way better than I am." Not his hyung, obviously, but he was just trying to get the kid to detach a little. "I'm hungry, aren't you?"

Weirdly enough, he actually was a little.

Jungkook didn't answer, he kept crying as Yoongi dragged him along. Namjoon raided the little kitchen area he had, trying to find a good breakfast he could offer. In the end, he started boiling water for tea and set out banana milk for Jungkook, along with a plate of biscuits and little snack cakes. "Help yourself, kiddo. My boy TaeTae adores these ones."

He held out a mooncake to Jungkook playfully. "They're mooncakes and he loves anything spacey. Hell, he is spacey."

Whatever, he was his boy, he could say that. He took a seat at the table and Jungkook climbed into Yoongi's lap stubbornly, setting his dirty toy on the table. Namjoon eyed it curiously. "That definitely needs a wash. Is that Dooly? Oh boy, what happened to him?"

"He's sick. Like hyung." Jungkook sniffled and picked up the mooncake. "They have bad tummies."

Yoongi made sure Jungkook was on his lap securely, leaning back and wishing he felt less like fainting. He ate a biscuit, hoping that his blood sugar just needed a bit of a spike. "If you get some stuffing to put inside him then you just need someone with a needle and he'll be good as new, Jungkook. After a wash, anyway."

He had meant to fix the toy, but he didn't have anything to put inside so that made it very difficult. Probably a good analogy for his overall shortcomings, come to think of it. "Do you like the mooncake?"

Jungkook nodded quietly and Namjoon reached out to stroke his hair, trying to bond with him so it'd be easier to take him from Yoongi. Not that it'd ever be easy. He was holding onto Yoongi's shirt for dear life with one hand. "I can ask my friend to fix up Dooly for you. She comes in around ten."

She was a whiz at that kind of thing and she owed him for this overtime shift. He looked at Yoongi, wondering what to ask or talk to him about. "You don't look so good, hyung. Do you need anything?" Was it rude to ask that? He didn't even know. "I, uh, I heard about what happened. With the fire. I'm sincerely sorry."

He and Tae didn't live too far from where it had happened, he remembered watching the fire trucks go by his home.

Yoongi almost glared at Namjoon for bringing it up, but he cause himself at the last minute and just lowered his gaze instead, waiting for his heart to stop thundering in his chest. This had to be karma, right? Why was he being punished? He wanted to do something good for this little boy and instead he got faced with someone from his past, judging him and bringing up the worst memories.

"Thanks." He just muttered it, not sure what else to say. "I'm fine. I won't need anything anymore very soon."

Might as well make that clear, he'd already shown himself to be complete trash anyway.

Well. That was a worrying thing to hear. And given the state of him, the way he looked and spoke, he could see the signs. He was on the edge of a do or die mentality right now and it seemed like he was happier to die than do anything. Namjoon almost wanted to encourage him to keep Jungkook just to keep him alive.

"You should stay until the end of the day today, maybe. Just get Jungkook here settled before you leave. You don't have to but he's going to be alone for a little while so I think it'd be the best move." Namjoon didn't think it was either way but he was worried about letting Yoongi just walk out of here.

"I don't want you to go." Jungkook whispered again, clinging hard. "Hyung."

"Come on. You realise he'd be better off without me." Honestly. What was he going to do for the boy? But Jungkook was hugging him like that, holding on to him and he was so small and warm and he wanted to make sure he was all right. He wished he was a different person, so he could be the one to make him be all right, but that was for another life. In this one, he didn't see it happening.

"I can stay for now." Not as if he had anywhere else to be. He ate another biscuit, watching Jungkook. "You might meet other kids today, Kookie. That's going to be nice, right? You like people."

He could not relate.

"I never said anything, hyung. I just said it'd be good for the transition period." Namjoon reasoned calmly as he ate a biscuit, getting up to make tea for both of them. "No one is a naturally good candidate for kids. Men who have the best jobs can be the worst parents, people who are in the worst situations can come through and be good parents. It's not as simple as it seems. It's about who you are."

Or, at least, that's how he always saw it. He waited for the tea to brew, stirring it slowly. "I'm raising a kid and I suck at everything. I went from being at clubs all night to getting up at 5am to watch cartoons."

Namjoon laughed and came back over, setting down tea. "I'm not telling you to do anything, I'm just telling you the truth." He leaned forward, petting Jungkook's hair because he was crying again. "I'll take care of you regardless, Jungkook. Don't you worry about it. We'll get you all sorted."

Yes, definitely karma. Damn. He must have been an even worse person than he already thought he was. Yoongi tried to think past the guilt and shame he felt and ultimately all he could do was comb his fingers through Jungkook's hair while hating himself with renewed passion.

But simply staying silent was probably not an option. "How old is your kid?"

"He literally just turned six. It was a few weeks ago. It was so exciting. I got this cool Death Star cake and we defeated it together." Namjoon grinned like a dork and pulled out his phone, pulling up a picture of Tae defeating the death star with cake all over his face and hands. "This is my boy, TaeTae. He's technically my brother but I'm playing more of an appa role these days than a hyung."

Jungkook peered at the picture curiously, cocking his head to the side as he looked at the boy. He was having a lot of fun with his hyung. He wanted that. He looked up at Yoongi, who looked so sad and worried. He petted his cheek a little. "Can we destroy cake together, hyung?"

"We don't have any cake," Yoongi pointed out logically, even as he looked at the pictue that Namjoon was showing him. A cute kid. It made sense that they were brothers, otherwise the age difference wouldn't be enough. "When is your birthday, Jungkook?"

It occurred to him that he didn't even know how old the boy was and he felt ashamed again, which was ridiculous. it wasn't as if this was actually his boy, he just found him!

"It's September. I already had it. My eomma gave me a cupcake and it was nice." She couldn't afford more but they had cuddle time and split the cupcake. He missed her a lot. His lower lip wobbled as he pressed his head against Yoongi, sniffling a little. "I--I turned four so I'm a big boy now but I'm still quite little. I need my hyung."

"You'll have a lot of hyungs, Jungkook. Taehyung will love to be your hyung too." Namjoon assured him, not sure how to make this better. He smiled sadly at Yoongi, wishing he could convince him to stay but knowing how hard this probably was. "If you really have to get going, I can ... can hold the boy for a few and you can make your move."

He held his arms out, ready to take Jungkook from him.

"...it's fine." Mostly because he saw how Jungkook was clinging to him and how sure he was there wouldn't be an easy way to get him off him. He didn't even get it! He had been hungover and short of passing out the entire time he'd been with the boy, so even if he had fed him and held him at night, he didn't understand why he had grown this attached so quickly.

"Hyung is staying, all right? So don't be worried."

For now. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He didn't have the means to keep Jungkook. He didn't even have enough money to buy them more than maybe a couple dumplings and it wasn't as if he could get a job.

"I've got to set up some stuff for today so you two can stay in the kitchen, yeah? There's food and water, just knock yourself out. I'll be back in a few." Namjoon moved out of the kitchen to start getting the play area ready, putting all the chairs out, the games and toys, ready for the small kids. He tended to work with the under tens so a lot of what he put out was for children to play with.

It was around nine thirty that kids started to arrive and Namjoon knew his sitter would bring Tae soon. He just wish he had an answer to what to do with these two.

When he came back to the kitchen, he leaned in the doorway, watching Jungkook talk away to Yoongi quietly. "...And then we can make soup together, I know how to cut and peel. I can help with the vegetables. Does it have vegetables? Dooly likes meat, hyung. He's a dinosaur. We can add meat for Dooly and vegetables for us. Then it's healthy." Jungkook knew Yoongi would leave him, that it wouldn't happen - he knew the signs but ... it was nice to talk about.

"I think my eomma just always put in whatever we had around too, but it always had a lot of vegetables and some rice cakes. Meat can be in there too, so Dooly would like it." Yoongi played with Jungkook's hair, smiling at him. Such a cute boy. He really hoped that he'd have a good life. Maybe all his bad karma could balance out and this boy could have a good life instead.

"I like cooking, you know? It's a good thing to know well. You should try learning it, when you have the chance. My eomma taught me." He looked up and spotted Namjoon, his smile fading. "Are we in the way?"

"Nah, I'm sorry to interrupt. I just want to get some juice for the kids. A lot of them are here now so it'll get a bit loud. Feel free to take him out to play if you want. There's a lot of things to do." Namjoon bowed to Yoongi politely and walked over, grabbing a large carton of juice and walking back through to get out of their way.

Jungkook tilted his head back, playing with the collar of Yoongi's shirt. "Will you teach me to cook, hyung? Maybe just once. Once? Then I know. I could learn how to make soup like your eomma. Then I can tell people that's hyung's soup." And he wouldn't have to totally forget his special hyung. "... Will you visit me when you send me away?"

"I'll try to visit." It was a lie of course, but what else was he going to say? Now that Jungkook had finally calmed down a little, accepting that they'd have to separate. Yoongi wondered whether later Jungkook would look back at this and be as disgusted by him as Namjoon was. Probably. It wasn't as if he deserved any better.

He got up, holding Jungkook in his arms, and walked over to the fridge, opening it. "Maybe we can ask Namjoon whether we can cook something. Then you can eat with the other kids. Do you want to go play with them a little? It's nice, having friends."

He wondered if any of his old friends still thought about him.

"No." Jungkook had a very limited amount of time with his hyung, he wasn't going to let go of him. He held on and rested his chin on the other's shoulder, looking behind him at the door where he could hear kids playing. He didn't feel like playing today, he was sad and scared. He didn't know what was going to happen. "Hyung? Why are you always so sad? You look sad a lot."

He didn't get it. Ever since he met him, he was always tired and sad, sickly too. Namjoon mentioned a fire and he got even sadder. He worried for him.

"Is it cause you're sick or did you get sad like I did? Cause everything is bad now and I'm sad too. It's scary to be a big boy, isn't it?"

"It's very scary," Yoongi agreed, before moving over to the sink so he could wash his hands properly. He set Jungkook down first and helped him pull his sleeves up, then made sure he used the soap right. "You always have to wash your hands before cooking. And in-between cooking too, so everything is hygienic. That means being clean, yeah?"

He looked at Jungkook, pressing his lips together. It wasn't something he wanted to burden him with, but maybe an explanation would help. A little. He had loss to deal with too, after all. "There was a fire at my house. I wasn't there at the time. My eomma died in the fire. Everything burned. So that's sad."

"It is sad when you're eomma is gone." Jungkook nodded his head and let Yoongi help him wash his hands. "I bet she is very happy, hyung. Cause she can still watch you and you're a good boy. You can make her very proud and then she can brag to all the other eommas in the after life place." He dried his hands on his shirt and smiled a little at Yoongi. "I hope our eommas are friends."

He tilted his head back, as if looking up to heaven, as if they could be seen. He waved a little. "Hello, eommas. We're together so we're happy, it's okay." There. Just in case they were watching. He looked back down and reached out, trying to hug Yoongi. "You'll get new stuff to replace the burnted ones."

Edited 2019-01-27 15:56 (UTC)

Yoongi hugged Jungkook close, because he wasn't sure what else to do and in the end he crouched down on the ground, sobbing. Fuck, he needed to get himself under control! He couldn't be here, wrecked by sobs. He wasn't even drunk, he didn't have an excuse and he couldn't do that to Jungkook. He had to be the hyung.

Why was he such a loser?

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