"I'll try to visit." It was a lie of course, but what else was he going to say? Now that Jungkook had finally calmed down a little, accepting that they'd have to separate. Yoongi wondered whether later Jungkook would look back at this and be as disgusted by him as Namjoon was. Probably. It wasn't as if he deserved any better.
He got up, holding Jungkook in his arms, and walked over to the fridge, opening it. "Maybe we can ask Namjoon whether we can cook something. Then you can eat with the other kids. Do you want to go play with them a little? It's nice, having friends."
He wondered if any of his old friends still thought about him.
"No." Jungkook had a very limited amount of time with his hyung, he wasn't going to let go of him. He held on and rested his chin on the other's shoulder, looking behind him at the door where he could hear kids playing. He didn't feel like playing today, he was sad and scared. He didn't know what was going to happen. "Hyung? Why are you always so sad? You look sad a lot."
He didn't get it. Ever since he met him, he was always tired and sad, sickly too. Namjoon mentioned a fire and he got even sadder. He worried for him.
"Is it cause you're sick or did you get sad like I did? Cause everything is bad now and I'm sad too. It's scary to be a big boy, isn't it?"
"It's very scary," Yoongi agreed, before moving over to the sink so he could wash his hands properly. He set Jungkook down first and helped him pull his sleeves up, then made sure he used the soap right. "You always have to wash your hands before cooking. And in-between cooking too, so everything is hygienic. That means being clean, yeah?"
He looked at Jungkook, pressing his lips together. It wasn't something he wanted to burden him with, but maybe an explanation would help. A little. He had loss to deal with too, after all. "There was a fire at my house. I wasn't there at the time. My eomma died in the fire. Everything burned. So that's sad."
"It is sad when you're eomma is gone." Jungkook nodded his head and let Yoongi help him wash his hands. "I bet she is very happy, hyung. Cause she can still watch you and you're a good boy. You can make her very proud and then she can brag to all the other eommas in the after life place." He dried his hands on his shirt and smiled a little at Yoongi. "I hope our eommas are friends."
He tilted his head back, as if looking up to heaven, as if they could be seen. He waved a little. "Hello, eommas. We're together so we're happy, it's okay." There. Just in case they were watching. He looked back down and reached out, trying to hug Yoongi. "You'll get new stuff to replace the burnted ones."
Yoongi hugged Jungkook close, because he wasn't sure what else to do and in the end he crouched down on the ground, sobbing. Fuck, he needed to get himself under control! He couldn't be here, wrecked by sobs. He wasn't even drunk, he didn't have an excuse and he couldn't do that to Jungkook. He had to be the hyung.
"Oh no." Jungkook hugged him tight and kissed his cheek, rubbing his back to try and make it better. "It's okay, hyung. You're a really good hyung. The best. Eomma is proud, I'm proud too. And Dooly!" He held onto him, not sure what to do to make him stop crying. Maybe he needed an adult. He wasn't sure. He looked anxiously at the door and, finally, an adult did come in.
Namjoon came over to where Yoongi was crying and crouched down, setting the empty juice bottle aside so he could put an arm around the other. "Hey, Yoongi, come on. Talk to me."
This day was just a collection of nightmares coming one after the other. No wonder Namjoon didn't call him hyung. Damn. He should have burned himself when he had the chance.
Yoongi finally managed to stop sobbing, holding his breath instead and rubbing at his face as if there was any chance to pretend he hadn't cried. Weak. He was so damn weak. He finally just shook his head. What could he even say.
"Jungkook is too precious." There, that was his thought of the day. "I won't ever let anything or anyone harm you, Jungkook, I promise."
"You know it's okay to cry, yeah?" He put an arm around Yoongi's shoulder and pulled him into a sort of half hug while Jungkook backed up, not sure what to do so he just watched, hand in his mouth, studying his hyung and hoping Namjoon could fix it. "It gets on top of you. Kids, life, all this stuff. I get it, I do. Let's just ... relax a bit."
He sat on the kitchen floor, holding his hyung while Jungkook collected Dooly and brought him over for his hyung to cuddle.
"Urgh, this kitchen floor is so dirty. I'm sorry, I should really clean." Namjoon remarked as he pulled a face. "Sorry, hyung. I said I sucked and I meant it. I'm bad at everything."
"I can clean the kitchen." Yoongi wasn't expecting any money out of it or whatever, but he knew he owed Namjoon for all of this, so he might as well. Besides, he knew how to clean kitchens. Might be good to have some routine as he calmed down. "Jungkook will help. And Dooly will too."
Well, he looked like a helpful dinosaur. Yoongi petted the doll a little, then just looked at Namjoon, even though he avoided his eyes. "I can clean the kitchen and make soup. Is that okay? Jungkook wants to learn how to make soup. And all the kids here can have some."
"That'd be amazing. Thank you so much, hyung." He turned his head and looked at Dooly, holding his hands out. "I can get Dooly all fixed and cleaned, do you want to give him to me and I can take him to a special doctor?" Jungkook hesitated, nervous and afraid to give up his emotional support but he did, holding it up. Namjoon collected the toy and smiled.
"I'll go get this fixed, you two can cook and feed us. I'm so hungry."
He smiled at Yoongi and held up Dooly's hand so he could wave by to Jungkook, who giggled and waved too. Jungkook hugged onto Yoongi's leg and nuzzled him. "Shall we cook now, hyung? I gotta wash my hands again cause cleanness is important for cooking." See, he learned.
"Uh-huh. That's also why Dooly had to go get cleaned, y'know? Next time you cook, Dooly can help you." Yoongi smiled at Jungkook and then he lifted him up so he could help him wash his hands again and do the same.
Not long after, he was chopping vegetable and showing Jungkook how to peel, a pot already simmering on the stove. "My eomma had a restaurant, so I know a lot about how to keep a kitchen clean. That's always the most important thing. Hygiene."
Might as well teach him important and difficult words. "We will start by cleaning all the surfaces and the sink and then we clean the floor. It has to be so clean, you can almost see yourself in it."
"Hygiene!" Jungkook cheered for hygiene because why not? He took his role very seriously and cleaned whatever was asked of him, scrubbing as hard as he could. "My eomma worked at home, she had a lot of people come over. Men. They weren't all good men but some were really nice." They gave him candy and called him things like kiddo and champ. He was a champ.
He smiled a little, sticking his tongue out as he finished cleaning the counter and moving along to the next surface. "I had a sometimes appa but he was mean so I don't want to see him ever."
Which is what made him kind of worried. "The policemen will want me to see him and I don't wanna."
"...I see." Yoongi frowned, wondering. "He's not your real appa, right?"
He had to wonder. Jungkook was four. Yoongi didn't want him to have to end up with one of his mother's johns - because he had to assume that was what it was, not that he judged her - especially if it was one he disliked. He moved over to quickly go over the surface Jungkook had cleaned, just making sure it was really clean. He was a young kid after all.
"Do you know who your real appa is? Have you ever met him?"
"I dunno. Eomma said he was appa now. He said he'd sell me to the circus if he had to live with me." He wasn't sure who his appa was but he was around the most and he didn't overly like him. He didn't want to live at the circus! He cleaned harder and then peered into the surface, checking if he could see himself. Not good enough, he'd keep cleaning! "Eomma gave him money."
So, mostly likely, more an employer than a father but Jungkook always had to call him appa and be polite.
"I had lots of appas." He finished cleaning and hopped down so he could start on the table, excited to do a good job and be praised. "I never had a hyung though."
"I see." Yoongi frowned, still thinking. "You are so fast, Jungkookie! And everything is so clean. Wow, you are amazing!"
He really had to figure this out. Quickly. "Jungkook, you know... If people thought that I was your appa, your real appa, that would mean you could stay with me."
This was a horrible plan for so many, many reasons, but somehow at that moment it seemed like a great suggestion to make. "I could be, you know? I'm old enough."
"My appa?" Jungkook giggled at his hyung, not sure if he was serious or not. He frowned at him when he saw how Yoongi was looking at him. "I ... My eomma said one of the good men was my appa so maybe you're one of the good men?" He wasn't sure. Could he be his appa? He frowned and tilted his head to the side, trying to recall Yoongi.
"You are a grown up." And that was pretty much the main qualifier for appa when it came to young kids. Male, older, caring. "Can you be my appa?"
Then he wouldn't have to go with the police and be alone and scared any more. He looked curiously at Yoongi. "I could clean every day and make us money so we can ride the nice bus! I'll even only eat a little, tiny bit and I'll never be in the way."
"Yeah, I'm a grown up. I'm your appa." Damn. This was probably a really dumb idea, but if he could now keep Namjoon from calling the cops, he might be able to keep this up long enough to... To get a job, he supposed. He turned to open one of the cupboards and found a bucket, filling it so he could start cleaning the floor, as promised.
"Hey, Jungkookie, can you tell me your eomma's name?" He should maybe know that if he was going to fake all of this. Although he had no idea how to proceed. Damn, he'd need papers for Jungkook and... No, this really likely wouldn't work, but he could try. It was better than burning, right?
"Jeon Hyun-Ae." Jungkook informed him with a smile as he did a little dance where he stood, squealing excitedly as he climbed up a chair so he didn't get wet while Yoongi mopped. "I have an appa! This means I won't be all alone. We can be together, hy-- appa. And I'll help you and you'll help me so we won't be lonely or sad."
And soon he'd get Dooly back and they'd be a whole family. He continued to clean the table, singing to himself as he did, By the time Namjoon came back, holding a boy in his arms, he looked around in awe. "Damn... you really cleaned. Man. I can see my face in the floor. Can you see yours, TaeTae?"
Namjoon tilted Tae playfully towards the floor, pretending to drop him.
"YES! Whoooah, hyung, look how clean things can be!" Tae only giggled at Namjoon pretending to drop, clearly not actually worried. He smiled at Jungkook, waving eagerly. "I watched your Dooly getting surgery! He was really brave and I held his hand so he wouldn't be scared. Now he's getting all clean!"
He had been very fascinated by the whole process.
"I'm good at cleaning." Yoongi looked around, fairly happy at how it looked now. The soup was smelling good now, so hey. He had done something productive today. And he might be about to do something really stupid. Yoongi looked at Namjoon, taking a deep breath. "Can we talk?"
"Oh, Tae, do you want to show Jungkookie where Dooly is? I bet he wants to see him already." He set Tae on the floor and went over to help Jungkook off the chair, making sure Tae was holding his hand tight. Jungkook smiled shyly and waved, nervous and unsure, giving Yoongi timid looks. He hoped his hyung would still be here when he came back. "Don't let go to Jungkook's hand, he's still little so go be a really good hyung and show him where Dooly is taking a bath. I'm sure Ji-eun will help you get him out to dry."
Ruffling Tae's hair, he adjusted his shirt for him so it was less wonky and gave Tae a thumbs up.
He looked at Yoongi, unsure where this was going but he needed to talk to Yoongi anyway. He wasn't sure where the boy had been found and he needed details if he was calling the cops. "What's up, hyung?"
"So." Yoongi had watched Jungkook walk away with Tae, to make sure that Tae was being a good hyung. He seemed to be, excitedly chattering away about how Dooly had been given an injection to be in less pain and overall seeming very excited that he got to be a big hyung, the way Namjoon had told him to be.
But now he had to talk to Namjoon and Yoongi took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. "Turns out that when I was in my more partying wild phase, some years ago, I got really drunk and had sex with Jungkook's mother."
"... You said you were gay." So why did he fuck a woman? Namjoon stared at Yoongi for a long time, not sure how to respond to this sudden confession. "You said... you said you randomly found him. And he's like four, right?" This seemed off. Was he overthinking it? He was definitely overthinking it. Welcome to Namjoon. "You would have been -- 17?" Oh boy. That was definitely illegal.
He raised an eyebrow and then looked back to where Tae and Jungkook had disappeared. Hmm. He kind of wished he'd gone with them, it'd be a lot less confusing. "A gay 17 year old had a baby with a women he forgot until just now?"
"Well. I didn't tell her that I was seventeen. Or gay." Obviously. Yoongi wasn't sure whether Namjoon not instantly catching on to the very obvious ruse here was a good thing of a bad thing. "All I'm saying is that I'm Jungkook's real father. Or I could be, anyway. Can't afford a test, but hey."
He shrugged. "So you don't have to call the cops. I'll just... Figure out what to do. With my son. I'll get a job." Somehow. Maybe he could at least get clean clothes first. "I'm good at cleaning and cooking, so. I can get a job."
"Uh-huh. This is quite the u-turn." Namjoon couldn't say that he was upset over it but he nodded his head, just letting it sink in. He looked around the kitchen before looking back up at Yoongi. "We're ridiculously short staffed here. Want a job?" He could probably get him one, if he passed the interview. He could just ask the manager, she was in today and she always complained about the place being dirty. The cleaning service they hired never turned up half the time.
"You, uh, you can be paid for today. Maybe. Even if you don't get a job, I think you and your son need a hotel for the night." It was raining out, there was no way they were sleeping outside.
"...seriously?! Yes. Yes, I want that." Because he didn't want to have to spend another night having to worry about Jungkook trembling against him. Maybe if he got some money, they could get a room somewhere. He could get clean, so could Jungkook, and they could use those shampoo things they got for free at hotels to wash their clothes. That would be a good start, depending on how much money he could get out of it.
Yoongi frowned, suddenly feeling taken aback when he realised that the first thing he thought about was how to spend the money to help Jungkook rather than how to buy the most booze. Interesting.
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He got up, holding Jungkook in his arms, and walked over to the fridge, opening it. "Maybe we can ask Namjoon whether we can cook something. Then you can eat with the other kids. Do you want to go play with them a little? It's nice, having friends."
He wondered if any of his old friends still thought about him.
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He didn't get it. Ever since he met him, he was always tired and sad, sickly too. Namjoon mentioned a fire and he got even sadder. He worried for him.
"Is it cause you're sick or did you get sad like I did? Cause everything is bad now and I'm sad too. It's scary to be a big boy, isn't it?"
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He looked at Jungkook, pressing his lips together. It wasn't something he wanted to burden him with, but maybe an explanation would help. A little. He had loss to deal with too, after all. "There was a fire at my house. I wasn't there at the time. My eomma died in the fire. Everything burned. So that's sad."
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He tilted his head back, as if looking up to heaven, as if they could be seen. He waved a little. "Hello, eommas. We're together so we're happy, it's okay." There. Just in case they were watching. He looked back down and reached out, trying to hug Yoongi. "You'll get new stuff to replace the burnted ones."
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Why was he such a loser?
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Namjoon came over to where Yoongi was crying and crouched down, setting the empty juice bottle aside so he could put an arm around the other. "Hey, Yoongi, come on. Talk to me."
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Yoongi finally managed to stop sobbing, holding his breath instead and rubbing at his face as if there was any chance to pretend he hadn't cried. Weak. He was so damn weak. He finally just shook his head. What could he even say.
"Jungkook is too precious." There, that was his thought of the day. "I won't ever let anything or anyone harm you, Jungkook, I promise."
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He sat on the kitchen floor, holding his hyung while Jungkook collected Dooly and brought him over for his hyung to cuddle.
"Urgh, this kitchen floor is so dirty. I'm sorry, I should really clean." Namjoon remarked as he pulled a face. "Sorry, hyung. I said I sucked and I meant it. I'm bad at everything."
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Well, he looked like a helpful dinosaur. Yoongi petted the doll a little, then just looked at Namjoon, even though he avoided his eyes. "I can clean the kitchen and make soup. Is that okay? Jungkook wants to learn how to make soup. And all the kids here can have some."
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"I'll go get this fixed, you two can cook and feed us. I'm so hungry."
He smiled at Yoongi and held up Dooly's hand so he could wave by to Jungkook, who giggled and waved too. Jungkook hugged onto Yoongi's leg and nuzzled him. "Shall we cook now, hyung? I gotta wash my hands again cause cleanness is important for cooking." See, he learned.
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Not long after, he was chopping vegetable and showing Jungkook how to peel, a pot already simmering on the stove. "My eomma had a restaurant, so I know a lot about how to keep a kitchen clean. That's always the most important thing. Hygiene."
Might as well teach him important and difficult words. "We will start by cleaning all the surfaces and the sink and then we clean the floor. It has to be so clean, you can almost see yourself in it."
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He smiled a little, sticking his tongue out as he finished cleaning the counter and moving along to the next surface. "I had a sometimes appa but he was mean so I don't want to see him ever."
Which is what made him kind of worried. "The policemen will want me to see him and I don't wanna."
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He had to wonder. Jungkook was four. Yoongi didn't want him to have to end up with one of his mother's johns - because he had to assume that was what it was, not that he judged her - especially if it was one he disliked. He moved over to quickly go over the surface Jungkook had cleaned, just making sure it was really clean. He was a young kid after all.
"Do you know who your real appa is? Have you ever met him?"
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So, mostly likely, more an employer than a father but Jungkook always had to call him appa and be polite.
"I had lots of appas." He finished cleaning and hopped down so he could start on the table, excited to do a good job and be praised. "I never had a hyung though."
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He really had to figure this out. Quickly. "Jungkook, you know... If people thought that I was your appa, your real appa, that would mean you could stay with me."
This was a horrible plan for so many, many reasons, but somehow at that moment it seemed like a great suggestion to make. "I could be, you know? I'm old enough."
Barely.
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"You are a grown up." And that was pretty much the main qualifier for appa when it came to young kids. Male, older, caring. "Can you be my appa?"
Then he wouldn't have to go with the police and be alone and scared any more. He looked curiously at Yoongi. "I could clean every day and make us money so we can ride the nice bus! I'll even only eat a little, tiny bit and I'll never be in the way."
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"Hey, Jungkookie, can you tell me your eomma's name?" He should maybe know that if he was going to fake all of this. Although he had no idea how to proceed. Damn, he'd need papers for Jungkook and... No, this really likely wouldn't work, but he could try. It was better than burning, right?
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And soon he'd get Dooly back and they'd be a whole family. He continued to clean the table, singing to himself as he did, By the time Namjoon came back, holding a boy in his arms, he looked around in awe. "Damn... you really cleaned. Man. I can see my face in the floor. Can you see yours, TaeTae?"
Namjoon tilted Tae playfully towards the floor, pretending to drop him.
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He had been very fascinated by the whole process.
"I'm good at cleaning." Yoongi looked around, fairly happy at how it looked now. The soup was smelling good now, so hey. He had done something productive today. And he might be about to do something really stupid. Yoongi looked at Namjoon, taking a deep breath. "Can we talk?"
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Ruffling Tae's hair, he adjusted his shirt for him so it was less wonky and gave Tae a thumbs up.
He looked at Yoongi, unsure where this was going but he needed to talk to Yoongi anyway. He wasn't sure where the boy had been found and he needed details if he was calling the cops. "What's up, hyung?"
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But now he had to talk to Namjoon and Yoongi took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. "Turns out that when I was in my more partying wild phase, some years ago, I got really drunk and had sex with Jungkook's mother."
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He raised an eyebrow and then looked back to where Tae and Jungkook had disappeared. Hmm. He kind of wished he'd gone with them, it'd be a lot less confusing. "A gay 17 year old had a baby with a women he forgot until just now?"
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He shrugged. "So you don't have to call the cops. I'll just... Figure out what to do. With my son. I'll get a job." Somehow. Maybe he could at least get clean clothes first. "I'm good at cleaning and cooking, so. I can get a job."
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"You, uh, you can be paid for today. Maybe. Even if you don't get a job, I think you and your son need a hotel for the night." It was raining out, there was no way they were sleeping outside.
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Yoongi frowned, suddenly feeling taken aback when he realised that the first thing he thought about was how to spend the money to help Jungkook rather than how to buy the most booze. Interesting.
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