"...that was so embarrassing." Yoongi was still blushing and he pulled Jungkook up, lifting him back into his arms to cuddle and to keep safe from all that dorkiness. "He's an appa, but he's not cool." That much was for sure.
Tae seemed a lot less bothered, just grinning and singing a little song to himself, a song that included the repetition of 'I am handsome, we are handsome' and then mostly a lot of different random syllables. Off in his own world again.
"Where's the bookstore?" Yoongi looked around, ready to follow Namjoon. "Are you buying books for you too?"
"Of course I'm buying books for me. This is my favourite thing to do." Namjoon's excitement was hard to miss as he hurried ahead to the book store, making sure that he didn't lose Tae because when he was in his own world, he got lost sometimes. "TaeTae, keep up."
Jungkook watched Tae and giggled, clapping along to his song and then looking curiously at Namjoon. "Are you gonna get a duckie book too?"
"Nah, I'm gonna get a book on cognition and --" Wait, he was talking to kids. "I mean, just, silly adult stuff. The duckies sound better."
"What's cognition?" No, Yoongi didn't know what the hell Namjoon he was talking about, but he didn't like being dismissed as a kid. He got stuff! He was smart, his teachers said so too. Not that he needed them to tell him. "Is it like recognition?" He was trying to figure out how the word might work.
Tae decided that cognition talk was boring, instead grabbing Jungkook's hand and dragging him over to the easily identifiable kids book area, with brightly coloured small chairs and tables and a few toys as well, but mostly lots and lots of books, quite a few on them duck themed. "Whoa, so many!"
"A little bit. It's part of it, I guess. It's processing sensory information from your environment into knowledge." Jungkook blinked. Was Namjoon even speaking Korean right now. Way too many big words, he didn't get it. "It's basically just thinking and how your brain works, I guess. I was thinking recently about retraining some parts of my brain and then I realised I should really just read up on cognition."
Of course, because that was a normal thing to do.
Jungkook sat himself on the floor, also bored by all the big boy talk and happily pulling out the duckie book, gesturing at Tae to read it to him. "What happens? What happens?!"
"So you want to change the way your brain works, right?" Yoongi didn't understand every single word, but he hoped that he was getting the gist. Namjoon was smart, he knew that, he wasn't the best at toning down his language, but Yoongi didn't mind that. He wanted to understand everyone who talked to him. "Why do you want to do that?"
Tae opened the book and sat beside Jungkook, slowly starting to read to him. He wasn't that avid a reader yet, so after the first two words he just switched to narrating what he saw on the pictures on the page. Worked too!
"Cause I have a lot of -- bad thoughts? I guess. Anxieties and worries. I get in my own head. I want to try not doing that any more. That's always the issue, you know? The smarter you are, the sadder you are." Namjoon smiled a little, not really wanting to lie to Yoongi and pretend like he was fine. Being sad, having flaws, they were important for Yoongi to see in an adult. Even if he wouldn't let it impact his duties. "Jin suggested I try cognitive behavioural therapy so I thought I would."
"Taaaaaae, you're reading it wrong. The duck isn't a ninja, it's a duck!" Jungkook pouted and shoved Tae a little, not really intent on hurting him. "You gotta read the story! He's a duckie, not a ninja."
"Okay." Yoongi nodded, frowning. "Where are those books?" He had a feeling he needed them too. "I will read them." Then he could do that cognitive behavioural therapy thing. Or whatever it was. He knew he should go and read to Jungkook, but this seemed quite important too. "I get in my own head too." And then he couldn't sleep properly. Among other things. Maybe this was why he was so sad sometimes? Bad thoughts. Yeah, it made sense."
"Okay! But a duckie can be a ninja too, you know? Ninja duckie." Tae made a ninja move and then tried to tell the story a bit more the way it was actually pictures. He knew Jungkook needed things to be the way they were sometimes.
"Yeah, it's not great. I always second guess myself and I have these days where I just don't wanna, I can't sleep and urgh, it can be hard. Especially when you got a lot to worry about." He had a feeling that Yoongi might feel the same, maybe it'd get him to talk if he knew that Namjoon had the same flaws. He put his arm around Yoongi as he guided him over. "Maybe we could do it together, train our brains. Next time we're both up at 4am hating ourselves, we could find a way to chill and practise self love." Wait, that sounded dirty. "... Man, it's so hard to talk about loving yourself and not sound like you're jacking off."
"If the duckie is a ninja then why is he getting picked on by all the other birds?" He hoped that soon the duck would be happy. He put his thumb on his mouth and looked at the book, clearly lost in the tension of the cute ducks struggles. He looked at Tae, clearly worried and mumbling around the thumb in his mouth. "Is he gonna be okay?"
"I just write a lot. But it doesn't always help. Sometimes it just means it's on the paper, but still in my head." So many thoughts and worries, so many memories. So much more all inside him and then Namjoon talking about jacking off. He made a face. "Hyung, if you talk like that, people will know you are a pervert." Yes, he just said 'know' instead of 'think'. Small, but savage.
"He's gonna be!" Tae had no idea, but he assumed, studying the page. "They are making fun of him cause he's different. So they say he's ugly. But..." Tae turned the page, just to check. "Now he's sad... I'm sure he'll be good at the end though."
"... Hey!" He playfully shoved Yoongi and then got him in a headlock. "I'm your appa, brat. Don't call me a perv." He let go of him, smiling as he picked up a mental health book and shoved it at his chest. "You better fix that mind of yours, going around and talking to your hyung like that. No respect."
Jungkook was nervous. Yoongi always knew if it ended good or not, always promised him and assured him. Tae didn't know and every page, he just kept getting sadder and sadder. "His mommy didn't want him..." Jungkook's lower lip wobbled. "Cause he's ugly?" His mommy didn't want him, was it because he was ugly too?
"I respect, I respect." Yoongi laughed and ruffled his hair to get it back in order, then looked at the book Namjoon had shoved at him, inspecting it curiously. "I wish it was easy to be happy. I think I don't have the talent."
"Oh, but he's not ugly! Look how cute he is." Tae sensed the distress and so he kept turning the pages quickly. "Oh, and look, he's growing all big! Look how pretty!" Tae stopped at the page where the bird had turned into a beautiful swan and let Jungkook look at it. "See? All beautiful!"
"You'll get there. When I was a kid, I thought I'd always feel like hell. Like I was lost in a blackhole. You get through it." Reaching out, he placed a hand on Yoongi's shoulder. "You just have to be patient and work with me. I know it's tricky. It's hard for me too but I want you to be happy and I'll do all it takes. For you, Jungkook and Tae. All of you."
Jungkook settled but he did cry, wiping his eyes with his sleeve and sniffling. The duck wasn't love until he got better and was prettier. He had to work hard and be perfect or no one would love him. "Tae, do you love me?" He looked at his big brother and leaned into him."Am I pretty?"
"Okay, I will work with you." Whatever that meant. Cognition, Yoongi supposed. "I will work on my head." He held up the book that Namjoon had handed him, nodding very seriously. "But now we have to check on the kids." He was a responsible guy.
"You've always been the prettiest! My Kookie." Tae hugged him close. "You know what matters the most? How you are on the inside!" Luckily, Tae had absorbed a lot of wisdom from years of watching cartoons. "And you are beautiful on the inside and a cute little bunny on the outside. I love you so, so, so, so, so, sooooo much! Ever since I've met you."
Namjoon walked over with Yoongi and raised an eyebrow, coming around to look at the book, wincing. Ooh, poor choice. "That book is brutal, huh?"
Jungkook turned around, sniffling and crying a little as he got up, running to Yoongi and hugging his leg, talking so fast that a lot of his words got smushed together or lost in gasps but if Namjoon heard it right, he definitely was upset about the duckling. Namjoon came over and sat down next to Tae, smiling at him. "We're you being a good hyung? Taking care of Kookie, such a big boy."
Yoongi crouched down so he could take Jungkook into his arms and hug him close, frowning as he tried to put together just what had upset him so much. Oh. Oh, that made sense. "It's just a story, Kookie. Shall we read another one?" Damage control was important. Yoongi scanned the categories the books were in and quickly picked up one of the ones that was about making friends. That should be nice, right? "Look, Kookie, so many different animals! Can you find the crocodile? There is a duckie too! And a bunny."
"I didn't mean to make him cry..." Tae looked distraught, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm sorry!"
"It's okay, you didn't do bad. That book is a nightmare. Kookie is just a little tired and so, he's bound to get upset. You were such a good hyung." He pulled Tae into his lap and kissed the top of his head, bouncing him a little. "Well done for showing him how pretty the duckling can be. You're smart."
Jungkook rubbed at his eyes and pointed at the crocodile, trying to be a big boy and stop crying. He pointed at the bunny next and then rubbed at his eyes. "I'm pretty. Tae said I'm pretty." So he had to be kept.
"Tae is right. You are pretty. Pretty and smart and funny and you are the most important to hyung, yeah?" Yoongi smiled, wiping away a tear from Jungkook's cheek. "Do you remember when we first met? I told you that you are with me and I'm your hyung and that's forever. Yeah?"
Tae nodded, still a bit worried, but Yoongi was talking to Jungkook and Yoongi could always fix everything. "I don't know if it's so good to be pretty sometimes... Like, when perverts call you pretty! That's bad! I tell Jiminie."
"Forever." Jungkook nodded in agreement and snuggled up against his brother, a little overwhelmed and tired from his meltdown, he just wanted to quietly rest against the comforting presence of his hyung and not be stressed out or upset.
"Depends who calls you pretty, yeah? Your appa or your hyungs saying it? That's fine. That's okay. Nice people who are just saying hi, that's okay sometimes. If they're a stranger and they scare you, it's not okay. People like Cheon? Nope." Yes, he knew that name and no, he was not happy that he had tried to mess with their kids. Fucking bastard. He'd arrest him soon enough.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Tae seemed a lot less bothered, just grinning and singing a little song to himself, a song that included the repetition of 'I am handsome, we are handsome' and then mostly a lot of different random syllables. Off in his own world again.
"Where's the bookstore?" Yoongi looked around, ready to follow Namjoon. "Are you buying books for you too?"
no subject
Jungkook watched Tae and giggled, clapping along to his song and then looking curiously at Namjoon. "Are you gonna get a duckie book too?"
"Nah, I'm gonna get a book on cognition and --" Wait, he was talking to kids. "I mean, just, silly adult stuff. The duckies sound better."
no subject
Tae decided that cognition talk was boring, instead grabbing Jungkook's hand and dragging him over to the easily identifiable kids book area, with brightly coloured small chairs and tables and a few toys as well, but mostly lots and lots of books, quite a few on them duck themed. "Whoa, so many!"
no subject
Of course, because that was a normal thing to do.
Jungkook sat himself on the floor, also bored by all the big boy talk and happily pulling out the duckie book, gesturing at Tae to read it to him. "What happens? What happens?!"
no subject
Tae opened the book and sat beside Jungkook, slowly starting to read to him. He wasn't that avid a reader yet, so after the first two words he just switched to narrating what he saw on the pictures on the page. Worked too!
no subject
"Taaaaaae, you're reading it wrong. The duck isn't a ninja, it's a duck!" Jungkook pouted and shoved Tae a little, not really intent on hurting him. "You gotta read the story! He's a duckie, not a ninja."
no subject
"Okay! But a duckie can be a ninja too, you know? Ninja duckie." Tae made a ninja move and then tried to tell the story a bit more the way it was actually pictures. He knew Jungkook needed things to be the way they were sometimes.
no subject
"If the duckie is a ninja then why is he getting picked on by all the other birds?" He hoped that soon the duck would be happy. He put his thumb on his mouth and looked at the book, clearly lost in the tension of the cute ducks struggles. He looked at Tae, clearly worried and mumbling around the thumb in his mouth. "Is he gonna be okay?"
no subject
"He's gonna be!" Tae had no idea, but he assumed, studying the page. "They are making fun of him cause he's different. So they say he's ugly. But..." Tae turned the page, just to check. "Now he's sad... I'm sure he'll be good at the end though."
no subject
Jungkook was nervous. Yoongi always knew if it ended good or not, always promised him and assured him. Tae didn't know and every page, he just kept getting sadder and sadder. "His mommy didn't want him..." Jungkook's lower lip wobbled. "Cause he's ugly?" His mommy didn't want him, was it because he was ugly too?
no subject
"Oh, but he's not ugly! Look how cute he is." Tae sensed the distress and so he kept turning the pages quickly. "Oh, and look, he's growing all big! Look how pretty!" Tae stopped at the page where the bird had turned into a beautiful swan and let Jungkook look at it. "See? All beautiful!"
no subject
Jungkook settled but he did cry, wiping his eyes with his sleeve and sniffling. The duck wasn't love until he got better and was prettier. He had to work hard and be perfect or no one would love him. "Tae, do you love me?" He looked at his big brother and leaned into him."Am I pretty?"
no subject
"You've always been the prettiest! My Kookie." Tae hugged him close. "You know what matters the most? How you are on the inside!" Luckily, Tae had absorbed a lot of wisdom from years of watching cartoons. "And you are beautiful on the inside and a cute little bunny on the outside. I love you so, so, so, so, so, sooooo much! Ever since I've met you."
no subject
Namjoon walked over with Yoongi and raised an eyebrow, coming around to look at the book, wincing. Ooh, poor choice. "That book is brutal, huh?"
Jungkook turned around, sniffling and crying a little as he got up, running to Yoongi and hugging his leg, talking so fast that a lot of his words got smushed together or lost in gasps but if Namjoon heard it right, he definitely was upset about the duckling. Namjoon came over and sat down next to Tae, smiling at him. "We're you being a good hyung? Taking care of Kookie, such a big boy."
no subject
"I didn't mean to make him cry..." Tae looked distraught, rubbing the back of his head. "I'm sorry!"
no subject
Jungkook rubbed at his eyes and pointed at the crocodile, trying to be a big boy and stop crying. He pointed at the bunny next and then rubbed at his eyes. "I'm pretty. Tae said I'm pretty." So he had to be kept.
no subject
Tae nodded, still a bit worried, but Yoongi was talking to Jungkook and Yoongi could always fix everything. "I don't know if it's so good to be pretty sometimes... Like, when perverts call you pretty! That's bad! I tell Jiminie."
no subject
"Depends who calls you pretty, yeah? Your appa or your hyungs saying it? That's fine. That's okay. Nice people who are just saying hi, that's okay sometimes. If they're a stranger and they scare you, it's not okay. People like Cheon? Nope." Yes, he knew that name and no, he was not happy that he had tried to mess with their kids. Fucking bastard. He'd arrest him soon enough.