powerboys | But only I walk without purpose

"Stand up straight, what's wrong with you, eh?" Namjoon's father slapped the back of his head and he instantly straightened up, trying to be mannered and polite. The trouble was, he was bored. Waiting for Yoongi was boring. And his clothes were uncomfortable too, the tie was too tight and the shoes rubbed - he was really hungry too.

He could see birthday cake but they had to wait for Min Yoongi first. He stared off into space and missed Yoongi entering the room with his father, only bowing when he saw everyone else doing it, dropping as low as he could.

"Min Gunho nim, we're very glad to be here." Namjoon listened to his father and wasn't overly sure if he should nod along or what, he just leaned forward more and more until he had to correct himself to not fall face first on his head. "Min Yoongi-nim, you must be very excited. You're almost a man now."

Men were boring, Namjoon decided, looking at his shiny shoes. They might hurt but he could see his face in them.

"Almost. Thank you." Yoongi bowed his head a little, since Kim Minjun was older and very important. Almost a man. He knew his father wanted him to make his first kill soon, so that he could brag about how young he still was. According to traditions of the clan, he still had time, but there were traditions and then there were his father's expectations and, as always, he made sure he knew about them.

That was on his mind more than his birthday and whatever was supposed to happen on it, so Yoongi simply turned to look at the younger boy, figuring he should be polite. "Namjoon-ah. You were tiny when I last saw you."

Well, the only memory he had of meeting Namjoon was when he'd been a baby, so that made sense.

"He looks more and more like you, Minjun." Yoongi's father was in a good mood, keeping a hand on Yoongi's shoulder casually. "Are you excited, Namjoon?"

Namjoon kept looking at his shoes because he wasn't sure when he was supposed to stop bowing. It was easier to look at himself in his shoes than risk any impoliteness. His dad wasn't very forgiving whenever he embarrassed him. "I'm very excited, Min Gunho-nim. Thank you for inviting me." He was not and he wished he hadn't been. He had to be Yoongi's and he didn't even know if he liked him or not. He supposed it didn't matter. As long as Yoongi wasn't mean, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

His dad tapped his back to indicate he had to stop bowing and he looked up, meeting Yoongi's eyes. He was nervous and unsure but he didn't know what he was supposed to do. He looked at his father curiously.

"He's getting there. Shame about the glasses but what can you do?" As long as it didn't affect Namjoon's gun handling, he could live with it. Even if the glasses made his kid look like he had bug eyes. "Are you ready to give Yoongi-nim your gift?"

Namjoon nodded and after some hesitation, he came over to Yoongi and stopped in front of him. Then he bowed again. Low to the ground, head on the floor, trying to do it just as he had practised all week.

Yoongi resisted the urge to look off to the side when Namjoon met his eyes. He had to be able to handle this. He kept from smiling, even if he wanted to, because he could see that the younger boy was uncomfortable. But he wasn't supposed to show that much emotion and his father was right there, so he simply stood there and waited. It wasn't as if he didn't know what was supposed to happen.

He looked at Namjoon as he bowed, his heart cramping a little. All these people watching, it was such an embarrassing situation. He wished he could pull Namjoon up, but of course he knew he had no choice. Choices weren't something that often happened in life, in his experience. Not really.

"Thank you, Namjoon-ah." There, he could just accept the pledge and get this over with.

"I pledge to you my life. I am yours. I will always be yours. I will live and die for you." There. He was pledged. He was a good boy. He mentally checked over, hoping he didn't forget anything and -- "Oh, damn it. And also serve you." Oh no, he cursed. Oh no, he ruined it. It was so hard!

Luckily the mood in the room was good and there was a lot of amused laughter and smiles. He was sincere and young, it made up for it. To most. Namjoon's father didn't look best please but he shrugged at Gunho. What could he do? The kid was useless.

Namjoon stayed low, biting his lower lip. "I will do anything for you, Yoongi-nim."

What was he even supposed to say to that? His father hadn't told him, he never really did. Sometimes he got some guidance, but he was supposed to have matured past that. He didn't really think he had. Yoongi felt more like being hugged by his mother and not having loads of grown men look at him. But he was almost a man now.

"You will," he finally said, since he figured he might as well acknowledge that it'd happen that way. Nothing to be done about it, even if he couldn't imagine this little boy growing into someone like their fathers. "I will take care of you. I'm your hyung."

He was supposed to take care of his people, so he hoped it would be fine if he said it out loud like that. His father gave a nod and Yoongi felt relieved, then he looked away from Namjoon to address everyone else. "Please have fun. Thank you for coming."

He kept from bowing and relaxed when his father let go of him to go talk to someone. Apparently it was over, general mumbling filling the room soon enough. Yoongi looked down at Namjoon. "...you can get up."

"Can I?"

Namjoon slowly pulled himself out of the tight, small bow he was doing and onto his feet, looking at Yoongi sheepishly. He didn't know what he was supposed to do so he got up, adjusted his glasses and looked back to see if his father wanted him. He was over with Gunho, they were talking business.

And he supposed he belonged to Yoongi now so as long as he listened to Yoongi then he wouldn't be in trouble. Looking back at Yoongi curiously, he put his arms behind his back and smiled. "What do you wanna do, Yoongi-nim?" God, he hoped it was to cut the cake.

"Be anywhere but here." Yoongi said it quietly, not really expecting Namjoon to react. The boy was cute, he decided, with his easy smiles and obvious expressions. Like a boy, but a nice boy. Good, he was glad he wasn't stuck with some asshole. However, he probably couldn't expose him to too much of his actual thoughts or sarcasm, else he'd risk a misunderstanding.

"I'll have to talk to people. Business." More or less. Mostly it was people testing him in their own little ways. He hated these parties. "Then we get cake, so. That's good."

"I like the idea of the cake." Not the talking. "I'll stay close, Yoongi-nim." And he would be a good boy the whole time so he wouldn't get punished later. He followed Yoongi around like a puppy during the party, watching Yoongi shake hands and bowing deeply to everyone to show his respect. Few spoke to him and so, he was free to daydream and leave the room. He tilted his head back, counting the spirals of the ceiling or staring at the present table with interest.

Which is why he didn't notice his shoelace was untied and tripped over it, slamming into Yoongi and knocking him down. Oh no. Namjoon felt fear seize him as he swiftly got off him and bowed very low, his body tense. "I'm so, so sorry. So sorry. I didn't mean it. My shoe lace was untied!"

"It's fine!" Yoongi quickly got back up before more people could see them, wishing he could reassure Namjoon. He just wished he knew how to. He figured his mother might have hugged him quickly, but of course that was a long time ago. It was just what he thought of when he thought of comfort. Instead he put a hand on Namjoon's shoulder, making him stand up properly. "Don't worry. It can happen. Please tie your shoe lace. I don't want you hurting yourself."

Surely that was okay, right? He was the hyung after all. "The shoes look new. New shoes can be awkward."

"They don't fit right." Namjoon grumbled as he crouched down to tie up his shoelace and make sure it was all triple tied and everything. "I said they don't fit but they were the only ones like this left and they're expensive cause they're leather but leather doesn't feel nice." He got back up and bowed apologetically to everyone around, following Yoongi a little bit behind, awkwardly fiddling with his shirt sleeve.

"It makes my toe hurt, I'm gonna have blisters." He hated that a lot. He tried to keep up, glaring down at his dumb shoes. "Your shoes look nicer."

"My shoes are all right. Yours will be more comfortable once you've worn them more. Leather gets better with time." Yoongi stopped off to the side, so Namjoon's feet got a rest, glancing over at the present table for just a moment. He wondered what all there would be. Guns. Definitely, he could even see a few. Maybe that was how he'd make his kill.

"Do you like cake?" So his small talk skills when it came to talking to children weren't the best. He didn't have much experience with it.

"I do like cake. If I could eat one thing forever, it'd be cake. Or black sesame noodles. I don't like much else." He was a picky eater but he usually ate what was given to him to avoid an incident with his dad. He bounced on his feet, peering out curiously before looking over at the present table. The wrapping was pretty. "I wanted to get you something better than me for your birthday. I told father that he should get you a power ranger or a transformer."

Then he hit Namjoon and told him to stop being such an idiot. He hoped Yoongi didn't do the same. "I wonder if someone got you a transformer. There's one that goes from a truck and it's so big!"

"That'd be great," Yoongi admitted, smiling a little for just a moment before he managed to school his face again, just in case someone would look over his way. He supposed smiling just so Namjoon could see it was all right. He could maybe relax around him, a little. Just a little. "I don't get toys."

That put it simple enough. Toys weren't something that featured in his life, maybe it was good if Namjoon started to understand that. He wasn't a child, not really. His father had told him that early enough. "These will mostly be weapons. Jewellery. That kind of stuff. Not that exciting."

"I always get clothes. I have so many socks and ties." Fancy and expensive, sure, but he was bored of them. He wanted toys and all he got were clothes, watches and all that kind of stuff. Expensive gifts for a son of a mobster, nothing with whimsy or fun. "My father doesn't believe in birthdays so I never get anything from him. Just a load of ties and socks from people. Once I got a suit."

Namjoon yawned and pulled a face at the whole idea. "I guess, cause we both get boring gifts, we should try to have fun together?" Was Yoongi going to play with him or was he too big? Too important? "Do you... do you play?"

"When is your birthday, Joon-ah? I'll buy you something this year." Maybe he could give him a toy. Surely he could decide what to buy for his future second in command? He was ready to fight for the right if he had to. "I don't play, no. I play piano?"

Did that count? Probably not. "I train a lot, sometimes that's fun. But we can have fun together." Somehow. He wasn't sure how to go about it. "Where do you go to school?" Yoongi was just curious, honestly. He really did wonder what exactly Namjoon's life might be like.

"My birthday is the 12th September but you don't have to get me something. I'm yours, Yoongi-nim. I'll be happy just to see you." Bowing a little politely, he looked up at Yoongi and smiled, unsure if he had to keep bowing but it seemed like the best option for appeasing the future mob boss. He wanted to do well. "You play piano? That's so cool. I always wanted to play an instrument."

Namjoon moved a little so he could look at the table of presents, inspect them curiously because he could never stay still and just talk. He was always thinking, always moving. "I'm homeschooled. I have to stay out of your way until you turn ten. Otherwise I'll ruin the ceremony. So I stay at home a lot."

It was tradition, after all. "My life doesn't start until I meet you." He was very excited. "I hope my life involves going outside more."

Yoongi stepped next to Namjoon, watching so he could stop him in case he tried touching anything. He was still a child, after all, and he had said that he'd take care of him. He wasn't even surprised to hear the words coming from him, but it made him nod and bite his lower lip a little. All these people and their lives, sworn to him. He had to live up to it.

He stopped worrying his lip, nodding instead. "I'm sure it will. Eventually." He hoped he could find a way to make Namjoon's life a good one. It was in his hands after all.

"I don't mind what I do, I just want more books and to go to the beach one day." Those were his very simple wants and needs. He turned and looked at Yoongi, eyes wide and eager. "I want to go to the beach and see crabs. I have a cool book on them. Well, it's about estuaries but crabs are really, really cool. Did you know that the mud crab changes the environment and adds for oxygen? They're saving the world."

With a happy smile, he beamed at Yoongi and moved back from the very tempting table of presents. "Have you ever been to the beach? Where have you been? What's your school like? Can I see it?"

"I don't go to school, just like you. I'm home schooled." Yoongi looked at Namjoon and fought the urge to smile again before finally nodding. "I've been to the beach, but not really. There was just a meeting near it. I didn't get to go and look at crabs."

As adorable as that sounded. "You know a lot about crabs, huh?" Maybe he could use that to give him a gift. He could give gifts to favoured people that worked for him, his father did it whenever he wanted to make a proper gesture. "Maybe next time we meet, we can be alone."

That seemed preferable. Than he wouldn't have to fight to keep his face blank.

"That would be cool. Seen as we have to always be together and all, it'd be nice if we could do something fun instead of a boring party." Cause to him, this was very dull. He looked over at the cake and then back to Yoongi. "We should have cake. You spoke to like everyone here so we should get a treat."

It felt like he spoke to everyone. They talked to so many people.

He looked up to see his father and Yoongi's father, talking quietly and occasionally looking at them. Namjoon straightened up and looked worried. "They're talking about us. Yoongi-nim... if I do bad, do you have to shoot me?

"I'm your hyung," Yoongi reminded him, "I would never do that. I'm here to take care of you. That's how this works. It's a two-way street, you know? You follow me, but only if I'm worth following."

So he had to be worthy. He had to be strong and together and no one could ever see when he cried. Yoongi knew all that by now. He glanced at his watch and nodded his head. He supposed it was time for cake. He didn't ask his father if it was all right, he could make his own decision. Instead he stopped a waiter and told him and then it all happened the way it ought to. Cake was cut, people applauded and then everything was back to more of the same, but now they had cake. Much better.

Yoongi made sure that Namjoon got the biggest piece with the most frosting.

Namjoon eagerly ate his cake, quick and fast so his dad couldn't take it off him, turning his back to the wall so it was hard to see what he had and how much he had. He loved it. The frosting was sweet, the cake was chocolatey and he had the Y from Yoongi's name on top too. He turned his head, chocolate around his face as he beamed at his new boss. "You're a good hyung, Yoongi-nim."

He wiped his face on his very expensive suit jacket, eager to tell Yoongi about how cool he was. He got him cake and he didn't punish him for falling over earlier. "It tastes so good. Do you want some of mine?"

"It's fine. I like that you are enjoying it." He had had a piece as well, but it was one of those iffy things where he wasn't sure if it was all right for people to see him enjoy cake. Was that too weak? He honestly didn't know. Maybe it was just fine? These things were so difficult at times and he wasn't sure who to ask. "You have some chocolate on your cheek."

He handed him a tissue, because Namjoon had told him that he was a good hyung and he was desperate to keep living up to that. "We will have a more fun party for your birthday."

Surely he could organise that? He would just do it. He had authority!

"I'm not allowed parties, hyung. We don't celebrate birthdays." It was his mother's achievement and he'd yet to do anything good with his life so why should he be rewarded? That's what his dad always said. He cleaned his face and turned around, nervously eyeing his father. Who was not enjoying cake like everyone else, of course, he was still talking to Yoongi's father.

He supposed one day that'd be him and Yoongi. He hoped he'd be good enough.

"Maybe -- Maybe we could do something fun just us?" He never had a friend before. If Yoongi was deemed a friend. He wasn't sure, his father always said that Gunho was his friend but they didn't always act fond or happy around each other. It was hard to say. "It could be fun to go out somewhere."

But only I walk without purpose

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