"Whoever that is, announce yourself? I got a gun and a busted eye so we don't wanna mesh those two things together or I might accidentally shoot your dick off!" Sangwoo yelled out, not sure if it was Minjun or whoever this dude was fucking but he drew his gun and tried to aim with his questionable depth perception.
"Uh, well, I had this ant farm as a kid, hyung. I asked for it for Christmas and I said I was going to become the curator of inverts at the zoo near us and appa got super weird about it. Like he threw away my zoology books. Then he made me release my ants but I didn't want them to die cause they were raised captive and wouldn't adapt sooooo I let them loose in my room..." A gangster with an ant problem. Yeah, that was the start of his and appa's disagreement. "Don't tell anyone, hyung. Appa said I'm now allowed to tell people about-- anything." Whoops.
"It's me!" Minjun called out. "Relax, don't shoot. Who's that guy?" He stepped up to them and crouched down, inspecting Yejoon. Huh. "He sat with Jaebum, right? What's the deal?"
"That's fine. I don't usually talk to people about ants." Or much of anything outside the business really. Yoongi couldn't help the smile now, he didn't even want to help the smile. That was adorable. "My guess is that your father has a different idea for your future." He couldn't relate to the situation so well, given his own upbringing, but he did know that even outside the clan, the future was usually decided by the parents. "I heard you are a genius though."
"They were fucking and he ditched him. Shitty relationship. He's pretty boy -- something. I forgot his name. Look at how shit his gun is." Sangwoo offered the gun out to Minjun and then reached forward, gripping Yejoon's face and making him look at Minjun. "Apologise, pretty boy. Grovel."
"My appa says I have to get involved in the business... I wanted to go and study marine biology. Once. I don't know if I ever want to study now. I don't know what I want." He was burned out from study, not really into gangster work and not sure what to do. He was basically given three options by his father and he had to pick one. "Yeah, that's the one brag my family has about me. Of course you've heard it. IQ of 148, top 1.3% on my entrance exam. Which is dumb cause it's not like I'll ever use it but I guess it's nice to brag."
"I'm Yejoon! I'm not pretty boy anything. And I don't know anything! Just let me go."
Minjun looked down at Yejoon, sighing. Not much of an apology. But Sangwoo looked as if he was about to collapse and he had to check in with his father. "We'll load him in the trunk and we can deal with him later. You need to get treated and lie down, Sangwoo, you are coming back to my place."
"I hear my father said I'm cut out for this. Not sure if that's true." Either his father saying it or him being cut out for it. They had never talked that much, for obvious reasons. Well, obvious to him, he didn't know whether someone like Namjoon would even know that he had killed his father. Yoongi leaned back, looking ahead at nothing much. He probably shouldn't be talking to Namjoon like this. "I wanted to play piano. Play basketball. Maybe write songs."
But then, he'd always known that those were just ideas. His future had been decided before he was even born.
"Eh, I'm not so bad. I look worse than I feel." He mostly felt numb, honestly. He looked at Yejoon and then swiftly punched him square in the face, hard enough that the back of his head smacked into the floor. That ought to stun him, knock him out if they were lucky. "Let's get the fucker in our trunk and we can work out what's what."
Staggering to his feet, Sangwoo swayed but stayed upright pretty fine. "Did your father and Namjoon-nim get out okay?" He saw then head to the exit but he wasn't sure 100% where they ended up.
"I write poems. They're kinda like songs. My teachers told me I should go into writing but that's not gonna happen. I have to work for the gang, I have to give everything to it but I don't know how." Namjoon let his head roll back, exhaling a little with relief because it was good to hear someone else about his age who felt just as trapped and down on it as he was. "What do you do when you're so burnt out, you don't even want to get out of bed? My appa wants me to outdo Minjun-hyung. And I did. And now what?"
He raised his hand and rubbed at his cheek, feeling like he wanted to unload and fighting to keep it all properly inside. "I know I shouldn't admit weakness to a rival but I am weak. I can't do this. Why isn't being weak okay? Why can't I just suck at stuff?"
"They both did, but apparently Namjoon is with Min Yoongi? Not sure what that's all about." Minjun picked the unconscious guy up, really wishing that he wasn't quite as scrawny as he happened to be. Whatever, he could manage. "No one died on our side. I think you are worst off, really."
"I don't know the answer for you," Yoongi said honestly, "I know that I have to be strong, because there are people willing to die for me. I can't be anything other than a strong leader worth dying for or I couldn't live with myself. I have to be who they need me to be. It doesn't matter who I really am."
But he wasn't sure what life was like when one's role was less defined than his own was. "Maybe you will find your own way. I hope you can."
"Yeah, I ain't great. I think he broke some of my ribs, it's weirdly hard to breathe. Ah well." These things happened. He limped after Minjun, just trying to ignore his pounding head and how hard it was to breathe. "Can we stop off for noodles before treatment? Kinda hungry."
"You know, everyone keeps saying that - find your own way. There's no way to do that if your own way is so limited. It's not mine then." It was just someone elses. He wasn't like Minjun or Yoongi, he'd never be a boss, he'd never earn that kind of respect - he'd have to fight for it and he was just done with that.
"All I can remember since I was ten was just competing with Minjun. And I finally beat him... and I realised it's never going to end. And I don't want to keep competing." He shrugged, know Yoongi wouldn't get it but it was nice to just talk a bit. "My life will only have worth if I change radically or die. Kinda bums me out." He shrugged his shoulders and looked at Yoongi. "Sorry for ramble. Just. Yeah. Never met anyone my age in this area... though you're successful in it."
"Hell no. Look at you. Treatment first and then I'll order us food." Minjun was glad when someone stepped in to take over, dragging Yejoon for him. Meant that he could move to helping out Sangwoo. "Wonder what we will get out of that guy. He was with Jaebum, right? Better odds than if he'd been Cheon's, then."
"You aren't a lot like your brother. I imagine you could find your strength somewhere else." Yoongi wasn't really sure what to tell Namjoon, because it was hard to really imagine his life. He wished he could ask more questions, but he had already let himself go more than he should have. "I had to change a lot. I have to pretend a lot. I hope you find a better way."
Whatever that way could be. "Your brother is safe, by the way. He is leaving now." He looked at his phone, reading the update he'd gotten. "Do you want to meet up with him or shall we drop you off somewhere?"
"Cheon likes weaker boys, this guy has some bulk. Also he's super into Thai boys, ain't it?" It was a whole fetish thing he had where he sought out unfortunate Thai boys to be his lover. Probably why he trafficked so many in. "Jaebum is equally a dirtbag with his boys but at least he doesn't pick out the weakest target."
Namjoon didn't know if he wanted to actually see Minjun or not. He worried about him but he never knew what to say to him. "I'll go home, hyung. If you don't mind dropping me off." Namjoon bowed to Yoongi politely and then looked at him, knowing he had said more than he should but he was past the point of actually caring.
"I'm best with my family when I maintain distance. They disagree but it's true." Or maybe they didn't. Given the trial and all. "In general, I think, I'm better at a distance. It's kinda my charm. Less is more, y'know?"
"Yeah, they usually don't know any Korean. I don't know what that's about." Minjun shrugged his shoulders. Well, he could guess that Cheon wasn't in it for the conversations. "We can see whether this boy knows anything. Or if Jaebum cares about him at all, maybe we can use him for leverage. Damn. I really don't want a war on our hands right now, why are they provoking me?"
"I don't know," Yoongi disagreed,"I like you."
There was something about Namjoon. Perhaps because he was from the same background, but still so different. Involved but not really involved. And refreshingly free-spoken. "What's your address? Tell the driver, we will drop you off."
"I don't know but coming after me was a statement. They may have acted like it was just dicking around but he wanted to embarrass you guys." And Sangwoo hadn't let them at the expense of his face and body. He limped along and opened the door for his boss still, keeping close so he knew what direction he needed.
Namjoon gave his address and then sat back down, giving Yoongi a baffled look. "You like me? Weird. That never happens." It was rare. He didn't make friends, he was bad at socialising and he mostly just liked his insect farms and his alone time. Lots of alone time.
God, he hated himself. He was NOT good company. "Too bad we can't hang. My appa would be impressed, me making connections like this."
Minjun scoffed, angry and upset for so many reasons. He stared at the ground as they walked out, heading towards the car, where Yejoon was already getting loaded into the car. No one was walking close to them, so he said it, his voice quiet. "I was scared."
Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, further endeared by how baffled Namjoon was. He supposed he really wasn't used to making a good impression. There was something honest about Namjoon, he didn't seem to be holding anything back. "You could come by any time. Our families are at peace right now."
Once Yejoon was locked in the boot, Sangwoo frowned and looked at Minjun, not sure what he was getting at. He paused so they could be away from their men, trying to understand what Minjun was getting at. "Scared of what, Minjun-nim? You got nothing to be scared of, no one would have let you get hurt. Promise."
Namjoon considered the idea but he already knew what his father would say. Then again, maybe he could play it off like business. "Maybe I will. I can bring my ant farm." Wait. "That was a joke, I don't have an ant farm so don't worry... unless you're disappointed. Then I can bring ants, if you want? I have a nest in the garden."
"I don't give a fuck if I get hurt or if I die." Minjun frowned, unsure how Sangwoo wasn't getting that. He supposed it was a viewpoint problem. "I was scared for you, genius. I never like you in fights, sure as hell don't want to watch you in a rigged one."
"Maybe we'll save ants for the second visit." Yoongi's voice sounded deadpan, but that didn't really give away whether he was not joking or he was. His voice sounded like that most of the time, truthfully. "We have fish. At the bar I meet people at a lot." So, hey, there was that.
"I was fine. I am fine. You worry too much, you gotta stop that." His heart would always get him into trouble. Sangwoo smiled and gestured to his body, proud of how much he withstood. "I fight for a living, it hurts but I expect to hurt. That was a bit more than expected but I can handle it. Don't worry on my behalf. I got this, boss."
"Oh! I love fish. I love all aquatic life. Especially crabs but I hope they're not in your tanks cause then you'd eat them and it'd bum me out!" And he didn't like that. Yep, hardcore gangster who feared people eating crab. He really was unique. "I can come by... Monday?"
"Downplay it some more and I'll hug you. Tightly." Minjun huffed, because he couldn't actually hug him, not with his ribs like that, then he finally got inside the car, because he knew Sangwoo wouldn't go in before him. He was the boss.
"We don't eat any of the things in there... They are just kind of small?" Yoongi had honestly never thought about the aquariums that much, but hey. They made for a nice decorative element. That was all Hobi's thing, so he let Hobi deal with it. "Monday. Sure. Come by, say you are there for me. I'll catch up with you eventually."
Sangwoo finally sat down and groaned as everything just shifted and hurt more. He slumped against the car door and closed his eyes, finally able to relax and hurt. "You can cuddle me when I'm less thrashed, softie-nim."
"Cool. It's no rush but... it'll be fun. I guess. I don't know. I don't usually meet people so it could be grate, could be my nightmare come to life." Namjoon really had no filter. He noticed his house as they pulled up and stretched out, ready to go inside and see if his appa and brother had arrived yet. "Thanks for the life, hyungnim." He bowed to Yoongi and then smiled dorkily at him. "I'll see you soon."
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"Uh, well, I had this ant farm as a kid, hyung. I asked for it for Christmas and I said I was going to become the curator of inverts at the zoo near us and appa got super weird about it. Like he threw away my zoology books. Then he made me release my ants but I didn't want them to die cause they were raised captive and wouldn't adapt sooooo I let them loose in my room..." A gangster with an ant problem. Yeah, that was the start of his and appa's disagreement. "Don't tell anyone, hyung. Appa said I'm now allowed to tell people about-- anything." Whoops.
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"That's fine. I don't usually talk to people about ants." Or much of anything outside the business really. Yoongi couldn't help the smile now, he didn't even want to help the smile. That was adorable. "My guess is that your father has a different idea for your future." He couldn't relate to the situation so well, given his own upbringing, but he did know that even outside the clan, the future was usually decided by the parents. "I heard you are a genius though."
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"My appa says I have to get involved in the business... I wanted to go and study marine biology. Once. I don't know if I ever want to study now. I don't know what I want." He was burned out from study, not really into gangster work and not sure what to do. He was basically given three options by his father and he had to pick one. "Yeah, that's the one brag my family has about me. Of course you've heard it. IQ of 148, top 1.3% on my entrance exam. Which is dumb cause it's not like I'll ever use it but I guess it's nice to brag."
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Minjun looked down at Yejoon, sighing. Not much of an apology. But Sangwoo looked as if he was about to collapse and he had to check in with his father. "We'll load him in the trunk and we can deal with him later. You need to get treated and lie down, Sangwoo, you are coming back to my place."
"I hear my father said I'm cut out for this. Not sure if that's true." Either his father saying it or him being cut out for it. They had never talked that much, for obvious reasons. Well, obvious to him, he didn't know whether someone like Namjoon would even know that he had killed his father. Yoongi leaned back, looking ahead at nothing much. He probably shouldn't be talking to Namjoon like this. "I wanted to play piano. Play basketball. Maybe write songs."
But then, he'd always known that those were just ideas. His future had been decided before he was even born.
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Staggering to his feet, Sangwoo swayed but stayed upright pretty fine. "Did your father and Namjoon-nim get out okay?" He saw then head to the exit but he wasn't sure 100% where they ended up.
"I write poems. They're kinda like songs. My teachers told me I should go into writing but that's not gonna happen. I have to work for the gang, I have to give everything to it but I don't know how." Namjoon let his head roll back, exhaling a little with relief because it was good to hear someone else about his age who felt just as trapped and down on it as he was. "What do you do when you're so burnt out, you don't even want to get out of bed? My appa wants me to outdo Minjun-hyung. And I did. And now what?"
He raised his hand and rubbed at his cheek, feeling like he wanted to unload and fighting to keep it all properly inside. "I know I shouldn't admit weakness to a rival but I am weak. I can't do this. Why isn't being weak okay? Why can't I just suck at stuff?"
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"I don't know the answer for you," Yoongi said honestly, "I know that I have to be strong, because there are people willing to die for me. I can't be anything other than a strong leader worth dying for or I couldn't live with myself. I have to be who they need me to be. It doesn't matter who I really am."
But he wasn't sure what life was like when one's role was less defined than his own was. "Maybe you will find your own way. I hope you can."
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"You know, everyone keeps saying that - find your own way. There's no way to do that if your own way is so limited. It's not mine then." It was just someone elses. He wasn't like Minjun or Yoongi, he'd never be a boss, he'd never earn that kind of respect - he'd have to fight for it and he was just done with that.
"All I can remember since I was ten was just competing with Minjun. And I finally beat him... and I realised it's never going to end. And I don't want to keep competing." He shrugged, know Yoongi wouldn't get it but it was nice to just talk a bit. "My life will only have worth if I change radically or die. Kinda bums me out." He shrugged his shoulders and looked at Yoongi. "Sorry for ramble. Just. Yeah. Never met anyone my age in this area... though you're successful in it."
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"You aren't a lot like your brother. I imagine you could find your strength somewhere else." Yoongi wasn't really sure what to tell Namjoon, because it was hard to really imagine his life. He wished he could ask more questions, but he had already let himself go more than he should have. "I had to change a lot. I have to pretend a lot. I hope you find a better way."
Whatever that way could be. "Your brother is safe, by the way. He is leaving now." He looked at his phone, reading the update he'd gotten. "Do you want to meet up with him or shall we drop you off somewhere?"
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Namjoon didn't know if he wanted to actually see Minjun or not. He worried about him but he never knew what to say to him. "I'll go home, hyung. If you don't mind dropping me off." Namjoon bowed to Yoongi politely and then looked at him, knowing he had said more than he should but he was past the point of actually caring.
"I'm best with my family when I maintain distance. They disagree but it's true." Or maybe they didn't. Given the trial and all. "In general, I think, I'm better at a distance. It's kinda my charm. Less is more, y'know?"
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"I don't know," Yoongi disagreed,"I like you."
There was something about Namjoon. Perhaps because he was from the same background, but still so different. Involved but not really involved. And refreshingly free-spoken. "What's your address? Tell the driver, we will drop you off."
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Namjoon gave his address and then sat back down, giving Yoongi a baffled look. "You like me? Weird. That never happens." It was rare. He didn't make friends, he was bad at socialising and he mostly just liked his insect farms and his alone time. Lots of alone time.
God, he hated himself. He was NOT good company. "Too bad we can't hang. My appa would be impressed, me making connections like this."
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Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, further endeared by how baffled Namjoon was. He supposed he really wasn't used to making a good impression. There was something honest about Namjoon, he didn't seem to be holding anything back. "You could come by any time. Our families are at peace right now."
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Namjoon considered the idea but he already knew what his father would say. Then again, maybe he could play it off like business. "Maybe I will. I can bring my ant farm." Wait. "That was a joke, I don't have an ant farm so don't worry... unless you're disappointed. Then I can bring ants, if you want? I have a nest in the garden."
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"Maybe we'll save ants for the second visit." Yoongi's voice sounded deadpan, but that didn't really give away whether he was not joking or he was. His voice sounded like that most of the time, truthfully. "We have fish. At the bar I meet people at a lot." So, hey, there was that.
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"Oh! I love fish. I love all aquatic life. Especially crabs but I hope they're not in your tanks cause then you'd eat them and it'd bum me out!" And he didn't like that. Yep, hardcore gangster who feared people eating crab. He really was unique. "I can come by... Monday?"
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"We don't eat any of the things in there... They are just kind of small?" Yoongi had honestly never thought about the aquariums that much, but hey. They made for a nice decorative element. That was all Hobi's thing, so he let Hobi deal with it. "Monday. Sure. Come by, say you are there for me. I'll catch up with you eventually."
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"Cool. It's no rush but... it'll be fun. I guess. I don't know. I don't usually meet people so it could be grate, could be my nightmare come to life." Namjoon really had no filter. He noticed his house as they pulled up and stretched out, ready to go inside and see if his appa and brother had arrived yet. "Thanks for the life, hyungnim." He bowed to Yoongi and then smiled dorkily at him. "I'll see you soon."