"I don't want you to get shot. I want you to be safe and happy. I've been trying so hard." But clearly it hadn't been enough and he hadn't been quick enough either. He leaned over and pulled Ten into a hug, running his fingers through his hair. "I'll always try to help you. Please believe me, yes? That's the oath I've sworn. I want to help you get better and I won't let anyone hurt you. Not when I can help it."
He let go of him, noting how he was shaking. Damn. So scared. "I really don't want to be here right now, you? I'd like for us to be in my kitchen. I'd make us hot chocolate. And I'd have pants on."
This was weird. The doctor was shaking, he looked like he could cry and he just hugged him. Huh. The hell was that all about? He slid off the gurney and got up, wondering along to find where those asshats threw Jin's pants. "No one has ever made me hot chocolate. I guess... I guess I don't have anywhere else I want to be. There's not as lot I want to do or can do."
Finally finding Jin's pants throw over a door, Ten yanked them down and tried not to damage them. "I used to think I wanted to go live in like, I dunno, a nice house or apartment. With a cool view and a TV, maybe wifi. With Hobi, uh, if he wanted, you know? But then there's the drugs and the effort, the people who'd police our every move. It's a lot of pressure and stress." It was easier to be here. Walking over, Ten silently held out Jin's pants.
He didn't want another hug, he just wanted Jin to stop shaking like that. "In the outside world, you wouldn't let me into your house. So it's all bullshit anyway."
"I thought you already knew I was dumb. Of course I'd let you into my house." Jin smiled a little, but he slowly moved to put on his pants, trying to get his hands to stop shaking. He managed to button them up on the third try, feeling like crying at how difficult that was, knowing that shock was finally setting in. He wanted to be safe and he knew he was far from it.
"I have a nice kitchen. I love cooking, you know? When I was studying, I kept myself sane when I had those big exams coming up by chopping vegetable while reading and then just letting things simmer while revising. I love cooking, but there's never anyone for me to feed. You are luckier than me in one respect, you have someone like Hoseok. I don't have anyone that special."
"I don't have Hoseok. He has pills first and foremost. They're his true love, his soul mate, the one he wants. He'd screw me over in a heart beat for a hit. When he's not high, he fucks me like I'm not even a real thing." Like last week when he was just riding him, trying to get a reaction while Hobi stared at the ceiling. He'd never been anyone's number one, the idea unsettled him a lot.
But he guessed it was expected. "It happens. It always happens. People don't love me, I'm not lovable." Why else did he have the life he had if he was lovable in any way? He looked at Jin, hands shaking, chest racing. Damn. "You're really scared, huh? Breath. It's okay. No one but Joonie will have you and let's face it, he ain't gonna fuck you. He says he will but he won't."
"I guess in a way that is true about Hoseok, he's very dependent on them. But that's not his fault and even at his worst, he still looks around sometimes. Have you ever noticed that? Do you know that you are always what he's looking for?" He wished he could help Hoseok more, he was sure he right medication over a longer period of time could stabilise him, but unfortunately Doctor Lang wouldn't ever let him have a say in how he was medicated.
"I like you a lot, Ten. I'm sure you are lovable. You'd have to be." He smiled a little, but then he nodded. Interesting. "I'm scared. Very scared. How come you think that Namjoon won't do that?"
"More drugs? Maybe lurking doctors. Doctor Lang is always fucking with him. Locks him in solitary a lot. He hates it, it breaks him every time. Last time it happened, that was when Namjoon decided." He shrugged his shoulders, there had to be something to break them and the display of power they had, the way they treated them, Namjoon had stepped in find a solution. Like Tae always said. Namjoon could do anything. "That and the guard who was raping patients, that one pushed him. He tried to fuck Tae and--"
Well, he shouldn't be sharing this. God. What was he doing? He was getting too comfortable, too chatty. Other than Hobi, no one really gave him positive attention like this. He hated how quickly he melted for it. "I dunno, Joonie takes rape pretty seriously. He says it's the worst thing you can do, blah blah blah, feminism and liberal stuff. I dunno. He rambles a lot." He had a lot of opinions. "He's not gonna suddenly change all that."
"Namjoon is very intelligent. I'd love to talk to him more, but he never wants to talk much to me." It was like pulling teeth. Apparently Ten might have more luck than him, but be a lot less interested. Wasn't that just the way it always went? "I know that Namjoon wants to look out for all of you. I just wish that he knew himself a little better, so that he'd know when he's risking self-destruction."
"He doesn't have friends, he only lectures, he's not really our friend either." He shrugged his shoulders, turning his head to look at Jin. "We're his friend, he's not ours. You know?" He cared about Namjoon, so did Hobi and Jimin but Namjoon was no one's best friend, he didn't want to get close. Honestly, it was weird he was even keeping that janitor guy alive. Hobi was right, maybe he did like him.
"He's not self destructing?... Is he?" Ten frowned in confusion. "We're just taking our house back."
"It's not a very nice house, is it? Blood and screams everywhere." Jin hoped that these boys wouldn't be shot, but right now it was difficult to imagine any of them making it through this. He would try. With all that was within his power, which right now admittedly wasn't much. "I wish you could have all been at a nicer house to begin with, maybe than you'd not have felt the need to do this."
A what if that he'd never be able to achieve now. "What are you going to do now? While you have your house."
"They hurt us and we have to take what they give us, sometimes it makes us so sick and -- and no one cares. What else could we do, doc? They power trip us and hurt us. If we die then at least we die of our own free will." And that made him feel safer. He finally got it, what Namjoon was always rambling on about - control was important and he needed it.
They needed it to survive. "While I have freedom, what am I gonna do? Hmm. Fuck Hobi. And then dance somewhat. Namjoon promised us all that we'd have radio. I'm so excited." Ten grinned, bright and excited. "I miss music."
"I see. I'm guessing Hobi is already getting treated by Namjoon." Namjoon who knew enough so much about meds. He wondered whether that could lead anywhere good, but Jim doubted it a lot. "Not everyone is here to hurt you. I hope you know that. I've never wanted to hurt anyone." He could say that without hesitation. He supposed that might be why he was here.
What did it mean for Jungkook and that janitor? "I'm glad you'll have music to dance to."
"I don't think you will but I don't know... people have been nice before but they all want one thing." And yet, Jin had the constant chance to get it but it didn't happen. He was trying to fuck him a moment ago and he just got pissed. He reached down and frowned, unsure what was happening... his dick was soft and his logic wasn't working. Confused, he turned his head and looked at his doctor. "You don't, I guess. I think maybe--"
Maybe Jin wanted to help but how did he even get his head around that? "Would you really make me cocoa, hyung?" Oh yeah. He used hyung. He hadn't meant to.
"People are a bit more complex than that. You are too." And Jin could sense that Ten was confused, which in this case was a good thing. He was making good headway with Ten here, if only this had just been a therapy session. Maybe it would do some good in the long run. Either way, he wasn't going to stop. If nothing else, he could at least try and help his patient.
"I would make you cocoa. I have little marshmallows that look like bears." An important detail to mention, he felt. "They melt right into it. Makes it taste sweet and so nice."
“Oh. That sounds so good. I like marsh mellows. Chocolate. Ice cream.” All the things he hadn’t had for a long time. He remembered having them once. “I had this one guy, he was so nice, he always said that he’d get me chocolate if I was a good boy and behaved.” Which they both knew what that meant. He grinned, proud of himself. “I always did. I lived off M&Ms… until the cops came.” Being hard and ready had always been rewarded with older boys.
But, apparently, not with Jin. “Do you think they’ll kill us?” Seemed worth an ask. He wasn’t overly sure, Namjoon said no but Jin seemed pretty sure. “I—I don’t wanna die.”
"I wouldn't want anything like that. I just want you to be healthier. To live happier and as freely as possible. That's what I'd want for all of you. Even Namjoon, although he'll never believe me." Such a complicated case. Jin couldn't believe the mess he had dragged them all into. He wished he could have stopped him.
He looked at Ten and sighed. "I don't know, Ten, but they might. If I can do anything to help keep you alive, I will. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."
He didn't. Not at all. But then, Hobi seemed ready... and Namjoon, apparently. He was smart, he either had a plan or he was ready to die. And he didn't overly love that. Still, they were his hyungs. They'd take care of him. "I think Namjoon-hyung will know what he's doing. He always knows what he's doing. He's the hyung, he takes care of us." Especially Tae, him and Jiminie.
"I'm sure Namjoon will try. And I'm your hyung too, Ten, so I will try as well." Jin pulled him into another hug, protectively cupping his head when he pulled him close. "Stay as safe as you can and I'll do what I can. Maybe together, we can get you all through this."
Somehow. To what end, he didn't know. "I'll do what I can," he repeated, wishing there was an easy solution.
The hug was tender and loving, almost paternal. Almost like a real brother. Not sexual, not like a lover, not playful and teasing. Jin actually cared, he actually wanted to take care of him. Ten slumped against him and melted into the touch, softening up so easily into his hold. "You're my hyung?" Well. That was nice. He was soft, sad and almost close to helping Jin.
Clearly Namjoon timed his arrival well. Holding a gun in one hand and a walkie-talkie in another, he pressed the button as he eyed up Ten and Jin. And Ten, naturally, jumped away with a guilty look. Raising the walkie talkie to his lips, he spoke into it. "Found them. Secured."
"Hello." Might as well, Jin supposed. He always had good manners. He wondered who Namjoon might be talking to. Tae? Jimin? Hobi? Or someone who mattered a lot less to him? He looked at the man, mostly looking for injuries, just as he'd done for Ten when he'd first appeared. "Are you hurt?"
He was a doctor, he was going to ask. He knew he was lucky more than anything to not be hurt yet himself, he knew he might die soon and he was scared, now even more. Namjoon had a gun and Jin had never been particularly brave and he was not good around violence. But he asked anyway.
"I-- he's my hyung and I just ... I'm watching him! We didn't fuck." He felt the need to point that out, unsure what was getting him that cold look. Namjoon gestured and Ten came running over to him, loitering nearby, knowing he had to listen to Namjoon. "What do we do, boss?"
"Tie him up." He held out his roll of duct tape to Ten and then slipped his walkie talkie away, reloading his gun slowly instead and not acknowledging Jin's attempt to make nice. "Lock down is in effect, I dropped all the shutters and sent out the night alert so they won't know anything is up until tomorrow and when they do, we're protected."
No, Jin didn't want to get tied up. He felt helpless enough as it was. But he knew he didn't have much of a choice, he wasn't a fighter and it wasn't as if he could fight against a gun even if he was. He hoped that Jungkook was doing all right, wherever he was. He had to be so scared, he was so young. Such a good boy too. He hoped that that janitor was at least older, although he was unsure whether that made it any better. Someone with family?
He did't even want to think about it, so instead he just looked at Ten and smiled as best he could, wishing he wasn't shaking. So afraid. "It's okay." He said it softly, trying to reassure him.
Ten took the roll and nodded, he was good at bondage and he was scared now so he switched to his defensive personality, smiling seductively as he came over to Jin. "Don't worry, baby, I'm good at bondage. I know how to tie a cute boy up." Waggling his eyebrows, he came over and bound Jin's arms behind his back, making good work of it and getting his elbows together too.
He knelt down and started to do his ankles while Namjoon pulled out a phone. Not his phone, it was a guard's phone. He'd already wiped it and returned it to factory settings. "I got you a phone, Ten, and I made wifi open so we can all use it. You want to use whatapp, I saved myself in it. If you get trouble at any point, you're gonna need to call me."
Ten looked up, eyes wide. "I get a phone? Woah!" He looked up at Jin, grinning. "I have a phone."
"That's nice." Well, what else did he say to that? He idly wondered where his own phone was and assumed it was broken somewhere. Made sense, the initial assault had been very violent. Jin closed his eyes and tried to focus on breathing, because now that he was actually getting tied up, he felt like panicking. That wouldn't do anyone any good.
Still, he struggled a little, wincing. He wasn't that flexible, this was already painful. How long was he supposed to stay like this? How in the world did Ten just keep going? At least he was dressed. There was that. "I hope you have fun with your phone."
Namjoon came over and held out the phone to Ten, the screen was mostly smashed and the case had blood on it but it was an iphone. Ten ripped off the last of the tape and then got up, taking the phone and looking it over. "You're the best, Joonie-hyung."
Being the hyung, being praised for being good at it, it made Namjoon smile in a way he smiled over little else. With a small, amused look, with such fondness to it. It died as soon as he looked at Jin, grabbing him by his shirt. "I'm gonna get a guy to carry you to my room, he'll secure you to my bed and you'll behave. Won't you? You want to behave."
"How would I misbehave?" Mostly just a rhetoric question, but Jin shook his arms uselessly and tried to make himself not act miffed. He doubted that would help anyone. Did he want to be carried anywhere, much less to Namjoon's room or to his bed? No. Did he think that he was about to get a choice in the matter? No, that seemed very unlikely.
"Is Jungkook hurt?" Maybe he would get an answer, any kind of answer. Any reaction might be something for him to work with. "What about Yoongi?" He really wished he could connect the name to a face.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
He let go of him, noting how he was shaking. Damn. So scared. "I really don't want to be here right now, you? I'd like for us to be in my kitchen. I'd make us hot chocolate. And I'd have pants on."
no subject
Finally finding Jin's pants throw over a door, Ten yanked them down and tried not to damage them. "I used to think I wanted to go live in like, I dunno, a nice house or apartment. With a cool view and a TV, maybe wifi. With Hobi, uh, if he wanted, you know? But then there's the drugs and the effort, the people who'd police our every move. It's a lot of pressure and stress." It was easier to be here. Walking over, Ten silently held out Jin's pants.
He didn't want another hug, he just wanted Jin to stop shaking like that. "In the outside world, you wouldn't let me into your house. So it's all bullshit anyway."
no subject
"I have a nice kitchen. I love cooking, you know? When I was studying, I kept myself sane when I had those big exams coming up by chopping vegetable while reading and then just letting things simmer while revising. I love cooking, but there's never anyone for me to feed. You are luckier than me in one respect, you have someone like Hoseok. I don't have anyone that special."
no subject
But he guessed it was expected. "It happens. It always happens. People don't love me, I'm not lovable." Why else did he have the life he had if he was lovable in any way? He looked at Jin, hands shaking, chest racing. Damn. "You're really scared, huh? Breath. It's okay. No one but Joonie will have you and let's face it, he ain't gonna fuck you. He says he will but he won't."
no subject
"I like you a lot, Ten. I'm sure you are lovable. You'd have to be." He smiled a little, but then he nodded. Interesting. "I'm scared. Very scared. How come you think that Namjoon won't do that?"
no subject
Well, he shouldn't be sharing this. God. What was he doing? He was getting too comfortable, too chatty. Other than Hobi, no one really gave him positive attention like this. He hated how quickly he melted for it. "I dunno, Joonie takes rape pretty seriously. He says it's the worst thing you can do, blah blah blah, feminism and liberal stuff. I dunno. He rambles a lot." He had a lot of opinions. "He's not gonna suddenly change all that."
no subject
Jin feared it might be too late now.
no subject
"He's not self destructing?... Is he?" Ten frowned in confusion. "We're just taking our house back."
no subject
A what if that he'd never be able to achieve now. "What are you going to do now? While you have your house."
no subject
They needed it to survive. "While I have freedom, what am I gonna do? Hmm. Fuck Hobi. And then dance somewhat. Namjoon promised us all that we'd have radio. I'm so excited." Ten grinned, bright and excited. "I miss music."
no subject
What did it mean for Jungkook and that janitor? "I'm glad you'll have music to dance to."
no subject
Maybe Jin wanted to help but how did he even get his head around that? "Would you really make me cocoa, hyung?" Oh yeah. He used hyung. He hadn't meant to.
no subject
"I would make you cocoa. I have little marshmallows that look like bears." An important detail to mention, he felt. "They melt right into it. Makes it taste sweet and so nice."
no subject
But, apparently, not with Jin. “Do you think they’ll kill us?” Seemed worth an ask. He wasn’t overly sure, Namjoon said no but Jin seemed pretty sure. “I—I don’t wanna die.”
no subject
He looked at Ten and sighed. "I don't know, Ten, but they might. If I can do anything to help keep you alive, I will. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."
no subject
He didn't. Not at all. But then, Hobi seemed ready... and Namjoon, apparently. He was smart, he either had a plan or he was ready to die. And he didn't overly love that. Still, they were his hyungs. They'd take care of him. "I think Namjoon-hyung will know what he's doing. He always knows what he's doing. He's the hyung, he takes care of us." Especially Tae, him and Jiminie.
no subject
Somehow. To what end, he didn't know. "I'll do what I can," he repeated, wishing there was an easy solution.
no subject
Clearly Namjoon timed his arrival well. Holding a gun in one hand and a walkie-talkie in another, he pressed the button as he eyed up Ten and Jin. And Ten, naturally, jumped away with a guilty look. Raising the walkie talkie to his lips, he spoke into it. "Found them. Secured."
no subject
He was a doctor, he was going to ask. He knew he was lucky more than anything to not be hurt yet himself, he knew he might die soon and he was scared, now even more. Namjoon had a gun and Jin had never been particularly brave and he was not good around violence. But he asked anyway.
no subject
"I-- he's my hyung and I just ... I'm watching him! We didn't fuck." He felt the need to point that out, unsure what was getting him that cold look. Namjoon gestured and Ten came running over to him, loitering nearby, knowing he had to listen to Namjoon. "What do we do, boss?"
"Tie him up." He held out his roll of duct tape to Ten and then slipped his walkie talkie away, reloading his gun slowly instead and not acknowledging Jin's attempt to make nice. "Lock down is in effect, I dropped all the shutters and sent out the night alert so they won't know anything is up until tomorrow and when they do, we're protected."
no subject
He did't even want to think about it, so instead he just looked at Ten and smiled as best he could, wishing he wasn't shaking. So afraid. "It's okay." He said it softly, trying to reassure him.
no subject
He knelt down and started to do his ankles while Namjoon pulled out a phone. Not his phone, it was a guard's phone. He'd already wiped it and returned it to factory settings. "I got you a phone, Ten, and I made wifi open so we can all use it. You want to use whatapp, I saved myself in it. If you get trouble at any point, you're gonna need to call me."
Ten looked up, eyes wide. "I get a phone? Woah!" He looked up at Jin, grinning. "I have a phone."
no subject
Still, he struggled a little, wincing. He wasn't that flexible, this was already painful. How long was he supposed to stay like this? How in the world did Ten just keep going? At least he was dressed. There was that. "I hope you have fun with your phone."
no subject
Being the hyung, being praised for being good at it, it made Namjoon smile in a way he smiled over little else. With a small, amused look, with such fondness to it. It died as soon as he looked at Jin, grabbing him by his shirt. "I'm gonna get a guy to carry you to my room, he'll secure you to my bed and you'll behave. Won't you? You want to behave."
no subject
"Is Jungkook hurt?" Maybe he would get an answer, any kind of answer. Any reaction might be something for him to work with. "What about Yoongi?" He really wished he could connect the name to a face.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)