"He doesn't. I do. Guy like that would never want a punk like me." And he knew that, so why did he fall? Why was he still falling? Minjun reached up to run his fingers through Gyungho's hair. "You're my one and only."
And not just for lack of competition. He glanced down at his own phone, the lock screen still a picture of Ten and him. Fuck. He had to get rid of that. So he unlocked it, went into camera mode and held his phone up. "Be sexy, hyung."
Gyungho was a good actor, even when drunk. He took over Minjun's camera for him and yanked Minjun in, arm around him, looking as sexy as he could as he eyed up the lens. "Now look like a dork so I look even hotter." And then he took several pictures of them, changing his expression a few times before he finally handed it back.
"You're welcome, you can look at my beautiful face every day now." He was very proud of their look now, he felt like he'd nailed it. He flopped back onto the floor and spread his arms out. "Now take some extra shots for when you're lonely and miss me."
"Oh yeah, baby. Give it to me." Minjun kept taking pictures, playfully tugging on Gyungho's clothes to adjust him as needed, getting into the ridiculousness of it all. "I want you. Perfect. You get me so hot, baby."
He looked over the pictures he'd taken, shaking with barely suppressed laughter. "There's my jerk off material for the next few months."
Winking at Minjun, he smirked as he sat up, rubbing at his dirty hair and sighing a little. "Can I sleep at yours tonight cause I've been sleeping outside for like two days now and I'm tired of waking up smelly with people judging me. I want to wake up smelly in the safety of a home." It was also warmer and nicer. "I won't crash for too long. Just gotta get my head together, you know? Like always."
"Yeah, yeah. Sure. Any time, you know that." He had his own place still, after all. Even if his family was here now, with little Joonie-bug who really wasn't little any more, he still had just enough money to keep his own place going. Enough to have somewhere to wake up with Ten.
Or Gyungho now, as the case might be. "You don't gotta check in on TaeTae?"
"Uh... I mean... he's fine." Gyungho shrugged, not sure what else to say. "I haven't really been there for a long time so it's not like he's missing me." Gyungho had been absent a lot in his life and he was still unsure if he should even be in it more than he was. He didn't trust his step dad with a kid but he didn't trust himself either.
And he wasn't the one who had a kid. "I don't go home a lot now. No reason to."
"I guess. Cute kid though. And he says you're the best hyung. Joonie-bug's never said that about me." Probably a bit too realistic, his Joonie-bug. Minjun tried, sometimes. He'd give himself that much. And he also sensed that there was something more going on here now, so he just wrapped his arms around Gyungho and kissed his cheek and then his lips and then just leaned their foreheads together.
"He's a kid, he doesn't know shit. I'm a terrible hyung. I'm a terrible person. Just a shitty loser. I get that, you know? I'm cool with it. I wish other people got it." Then there would be less pressure.
He knew he couldn't hide it forever so, in the entirely most casual and not at all normal way, he looked at Minjun and pulled back a little. "Oh, by the way, eomma died. Mine, not yours. Just ... forgot to mention it." He didn't choke up when he said it or even shed any tears, he just stated it like the sad fact it was.
Minjun looked at Gyungho with wide eyes, then he blinked too rapidly as he tried to process it. And then he just collapsed against him, buried his face against his chest, wrapped his arms around him and started sobbing. Well, he had shed more than enough tears over Ten, this was a better reason to cry. Gyungho always loved his mother so much and he was sure little TaeTae did too and this was sad. So fucking sad. He didn't even have words for it, but he could cry when Gyungho couldn't.
"Shh, it's okay. It's okay." It wasn't but it felt so relieving to have someone cry over her because he just couldn't do it any more. He did it the first day, the shock and the agony - then about three days after, that was it. He couldn't even shed a fucking tear any more, it was just a hollow weight inside of him. "I didn't want to say, you had enough shit going on." He rubbed Minjun's back up and down gently and rested his chin on top of Minjun's head. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry!" Minjun tried to not feel angry and sad at the same time, but that seemed to just be his default these days. Angry, sad and useless. He looked at Gyungho and made a face. "Fucked up my eyeliner."
Not that he cared, but still. He bet he looked like a ghoul now. "Come on. Come on, we can go to mine and we... Like, tomorrow we can visit your Tae." For whatever good that would do. But he needed to help his hyung be a hyung!
"Eh, it looks hot on you. everything does." Gyungho stroked Minjun's hair back and looked at him for a while before nodding a little. "I haven't really been home since it happened so... might now be the worst." He knew he should have been there for Tae but a small, angry and petty part of him just kept wanting to scream out that it was his eomma too. He knew her longer, he had to grieve her longer. Kids barely had a concept of death.
But he knew, deep down, that he should have been there. "I'll go tomorrow." He really should. Especially since he still wasn't sure what killed his mother - the doctor said it was a random event in her brain but she had been alone with his step dad when it happened. And maybe he just wanted a culprit but he didn't trust it.
"Yeah..." Minjun tried to understand it and he guessed he did, because he knew Gyungho so well, understood him so well. Their family dynamics were very different and the age difference between him and Tae was much bigger than him and Namjoon. Add the fucking bastard of a stepfather... Complicated.
"You can gift Tae some Ten stuff too. Everyone get some billionaire swag." Whatever. Not as if he could ever use any of it again.
"I doubt Ten and Tae mesh in taste but maybe. Or maybe I sell some of Ten's shit and get something for the kid." Maybe he could find something kid friendly like a cute cartoon DVD or a toy train or whatever. He didn't really want to get involved but he knew he probably should at least check in.
"Sometimes, you know, life sucks and everything is terrible. What can you do?" With a shrug, Gyungho staggered to his feet and held out his hand to Minjun. "Come on, let's just go home."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
And not just for lack of competition. He glanced down at his own phone, the lock screen still a picture of Ten and him. Fuck. He had to get rid of that. So he unlocked it, went into camera mode and held his phone up. "Be sexy, hyung."
no subject
"You're welcome, you can look at my beautiful face every day now." He was very proud of their look now, he felt like he'd nailed it. He flopped back onto the floor and spread his arms out. "Now take some extra shots for when you're lonely and miss me."
no subject
He looked over the pictures he'd taken, shaking with barely suppressed laughter. "There's my jerk off material for the next few months."
no subject
Winking at Minjun, he smirked as he sat up, rubbing at his dirty hair and sighing a little. "Can I sleep at yours tonight cause I've been sleeping outside for like two days now and I'm tired of waking up smelly with people judging me. I want to wake up smelly in the safety of a home." It was also warmer and nicer. "I won't crash for too long. Just gotta get my head together, you know? Like always."
no subject
Or Gyungho now, as the case might be. "You don't gotta check in on TaeTae?"
no subject
And he wasn't the one who had a kid. "I don't go home a lot now. No reason to."
no subject
"Sorry. Sucks."
no subject
He knew he couldn't hide it forever so, in the entirely most casual and not at all normal way, he looked at Minjun and pulled back a little. "Oh, by the way, eomma died. Mine, not yours. Just ... forgot to mention it." He didn't choke up when he said it or even shed any tears, he just stated it like the sad fact it was.
no subject
no subject
no subject
Not that he cared, but still. He bet he looked like a ghoul now. "Come on. Come on, we can go to mine and we... Like, tomorrow we can visit your Tae." For whatever good that would do. But he needed to help his hyung be a hyung!
no subject
But he knew, deep down, that he should have been there. "I'll go tomorrow." He really should. Especially since he still wasn't sure what killed his mother - the doctor said it was a random event in her brain but she had been alone with his step dad when it happened. And maybe he just wanted a culprit but he didn't trust it.
no subject
"You can gift Tae some Ten stuff too. Everyone get some billionaire swag." Whatever. Not as if he could ever use any of it again.
no subject
"Sometimes, you know, life sucks and everything is terrible. What can you do?" With a shrug, Gyungho staggered to his feet and held out his hand to Minjun. "Come on, let's just go home."