"I'm sorry. I wanted that." Tae could feel his eyes fill with tears and he held his head. It was his fault. He didn't even deserve to cry over it, that Jungkook was here right now, it was his fault. That he wouldn't go on a trip and stop by an arcade and that Jungkook would never smile at him the way he did that made his heart beat faster, that was all his fault. "You are so nice. I like that. Most men aren't nice. I want you to be okay and then you can get out of here and you can live happily and it will be good. Yeah?"

Did that make anything okay? Probably not. He just wanted something nice, but nothing about this was nice and his throat hurt from holding back his tears. "Joonie-hyung's protecting me. He does it wrong sometimes, but he doesn't like being wrong." So he couldn't really tell him when he disagreed, or Namjoon would go cold on him and he couldn't deal with that.

"I just wanted a normal life. Like they have it on television. I know I can't have it." He wouldn't get a trip to the beach or the arcade and he'd definitely never have a boyfriend to hold hands with or play games. "I think it's better to have no life, for me. I make everything like this. Always. There's blood everywhere and pain and it's my fault. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."