"I don't have Hoseok. He has pills first and foremost. They're his true love, his soul mate, the one he wants. He'd screw me over in a heart beat for a hit. When he's not high, he fucks me like I'm not even a real thing." Like last week when he was just riding him, trying to get a reaction while Hobi stared at the ceiling. He'd never been anyone's number one, the idea unsettled him a lot.

But he guessed it was expected. "It happens. It always happens. People don't love me, I'm not lovable." Why else did he have the life he had if he was lovable in any way? He looked at Jin, hands shaking, chest racing. Damn. "You're really scared, huh? Breath. It's okay. No one but Joonie will have you and let's face it, he ain't gonna fuck you. He says he will but he won't."